My Dealings With the Grocery Store Checkout Man
by HoneydukesFan
Summary: There's something weird about my new grocery store check-out man, but when I figure out what, it might just be a little more complicated than I thought. Jace/Clary Clary's POV
1. King Arthur and his Esquire

_A/N This is going to be a legitimate story, and not a one-shot. Since is this the first chapter, it's kinda short—actually, it's really short. Read it and then tell me if I should keep writing this story. Reviews are appreciated!  
>I do not own any of Cassandra Clare's characters.<em>

_XXXXXXXXXXXX_

Cereal… Yogurt… Pasta… Coffee… Cookies… Check.

I reviewed my grocery list and then nodded, pushing the rickety shopping cart to the check-out line. I automatically steered my cart to line number four, and without even glancing up, started unpacking my cart.

I sighed. "Melinda, you wouldn't _believe_ how many drafts Mr. Curtis wants me to turn in by tomorrow."

"Nope. You're right. I probably wouldn't."

My head snapped up. That definitely wasn't Melinda. Instead, an angel was checking the barcode on my coffee. He had blonde hair, the kind always that always falls perfectly into place no matter what, with pale skin and golden eyes. He was the kind of person that I sketched all the time: story-book perfect.

"Who are you?" I asked, momentarily forgetting about the fact that all the employees wore name tags.

Without even looking up from my Fiber-Fit strawberry yogurt, he said, "My name is Arthur, King of the Britons."

Because I am not a socially awkward person, and am chock-full of witty comebacks, I said eloquently, "But… but… I mean, where's Melinda? And why are you here? Um… And—_what are you doing to my cereal?_"

He had ripped open the top of my raison bran and was now proceeding to take the bag of cereal out. "To answer your questions, I believe that your dear Melinda is lounging somewhere on a beach— the Caribbean, if I'm not mistaken. I myself am seeking the Holy Grail, seeing as it is my quest set before me by the almighty… Actually, I can't remember who gave me my quest, but it is a noble quest, nonetheless, and involves raisons." As he said this, he opened the cereal itself and took out a raison. "That leads me to my next answer: You, miss, have been dreadfully deceived."

"I… have?" I said uncertainly, confused about how The Holy Grail, an angel, and some (what I thought was) perfectly normal raison bran had led me to be dreadfully deceived.

"Yes. This raison is an imposter. It is not, in fact, a raison." He was nodding gravely, and continued saying, "It is a _crasin_. A cranberry pretending to be a raison. Horrible, isn't it?"

"Perfectly terrible," I agreed. "Although I would appreciate it if you put my cereal back into it's bag."

He made a face. "You mean you still intend to buy this shallow excuse for raison bran?"

"Yes, I do," I said.

He was shaking his head, but he continued to bag my groceries, including my now open raison bran.

"So what's your real name?" I asked, curious.

"I already told you my real name," he answered.

"No, you told me a fictional character's name," I corrected him.

"I, ma'am, am deeply offended." He showed me his name tag. "See?"

Written on his shiny blue name tag were the words: 'Hello! My name is KG. ARTHUR, AND ESQ.'

"And Esquire?" I said blankly.

"Yes. That's him over there." He pointed to a black-haired boy two registers away, who glared at me. "Charming, isn't he?"

"Um…"

"So what's your name?"

"Clary," I said.

"Well, Clary, thank you for shopping at SmartMart!" He handed me my bag and my receipt. "Remember that we're having a pickle sale next week, and remember to join the Vendetta Against Raison Imposters. We have an on-line site now."

"Ok…" I grabbed my bag and left the grocery store, feeling slightly flustered.

Right before I left the grocery store, I bumped into a man wearing a thick leather biker jacket. As I mumbled an apology, I looked up into his face and screamed. He had a sucker instead of a mouth, and two crude holes in the side of his head for ears. He had weird antennae-like things coming from the top of his head, and his skin had a wet, slimy quality about it. Then I blinked, and I was looking up at a perfectly normal 30-year old man.

I sighed in relief and apologized profusely to the man. Looking confused, the man nodded and walked hurriedly away, probably scared of the whacko girl who was seeing monsters and carrying a box of open raison bran. 

The guy from the register said, "Are you all right?"

I hadn't even noticed him get there. "Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I'm just really tired or something… I thought I saw… Well, it doesn't matter."

"If you say so." His eyes were looking at me closely. I saw what looked like curiosity, uncertainty, and what looked like… concern? Then he blinked, and all emotions were gone.

Feeling suddenly self-conscious, I clutched my bags closer to me and hurried out. My heart was still going a million miles an hour from the scare I had had. I turned around just outside the store, just in time to see the blonde angel talking to the black-haired boy, his Esquire.

I jumped into my car and slammed the door shut, promising myself to make a super strong espresso when I got home.

It was only when I was halfway home when I started wondering how on earth Melinda had afforded a spontaneous trip to the Caribbean.


	2. Kidnapped by the Mafia

It had been a week since I had braved the grocery store, and my milk supply was in dangerously low supply.

I missed Melinda a lot. She had been the person I had always talked to when things weren't so great, and Melinda always listened with accompanying 'You got it, girlfriend's and 'Oh, I _know_'s. I know it sounds weird to have one of my best friends be my check-out person at the grocery store, but Melinda was really a great person. So, she probably wore too much makeup, and her nails were a little long for my taste, but she always knew just what to say to make my day a little better.

At the same time, I found the new check-out person—well, intriguing. Ok, so it might have something to do with the fact that he was smoking hot. But also, there was something—I couldn't quite put my finger on it—that was mysterious and fascinating about him. It was like having read the first few pages of a really good book, only to have it snatched from you after a few minutes.

Of course, there was also the deal with my hallucination last time I was at the grocery store. King Arthur (if that was in fact his real name) probably thought I was a freak. I had been having strange visions off and on for a few weeks now. I was starting to get seriously freaked out. Someone with horns on the subway, wings sprouting from kids on the playground, gargoyles springing from the roof of churches, and last week when I had been walking along the river, I thought I had seen a face looking at me from under water. Then the face had disappeared with a swish of scaly tail. It was as if my sketches had come to life, and suddenly I was surrounded by mermaids, monsters, and angels. Was I going insane?

Fear gripped me. The new man at the register. Had _he_ been a hallucination? That would explain why he had been so perfectly angelic, and his strange name.

My pulse quickened. I was losing my mind. That could be the only explanation.

I needed to get to the grocery store _now_. I needed to see if King Arthur, or even his Esquire, was real.

I sprang from my table, leaving my lunch, and rushed out of my apartment, and nearly killing poor Mrs. Franks who was tottering along underneath a pile of shopping.

I hopped in my car and stepped on the gas. I needed to know now, right now, that I had some grip on reality. That it was actually just a lack of sleep, and not my mind fraying at the edges.

Pulling into SmartMart, I practically leaped out and ran to the store. The automatic doors opened…

…and there was the golden angel, looking slightly uncomfortable as he rang up some woman's tampons.

I sighed in relief, and then set off to get the milk. Having achieved said mission of getting the milk and picking up a few random articles along the way (pickles, chips), I glided to the register, still in my happy bubble. I still had some small grip on reality. Golden angel boy was real.

King Arthur blinked at me, and then said, "I must say, I'm in love with your shoes. Where did you get them?"

I looked down, and blanched. In my rush to get out the door, I had forgotten to take off my Winnie the Pooh slippers. My happy bubble popped.

Blushing, I handed him my food. Just then, his black-haired and blue-eyed Esquire walked by.

"Look, Alec! Don't you love her shoes? I'm going to get a matching set for us!"

His Esquire glared and kept walking.

King Arthur pouted. "He's no fun."

I nodded vaguely, and then realized that there was something different about angel boy. He had black tattoos lacing up his arms, some swirling and some geometric. I could also see the black ink peeking out from the collar of his tee-shirt. Looking at them, I felt a pull of recognition to some of them, like a painting or art sculpture I had seen a long time ago in an art museum.

He must have gotten them since the last time I saw him.

"Hey," I said, "I like your tattoos. Are they new?"

He froze, half-way through putting my chips into a bag. Very, very slowly, he looked up at me, shock written all over his face.

"What?" I said, disconcerted.

"You can see my tattoos?" he said very carefully, like he was holding an expensive glass vase that was about to explode into a tiny million pieces.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, _of course_ I can see your tattoos. I'm not blind, you know."

He gave a shaky laugh. "Of course not."

He handed me my food, uncharacteristically quiet, as if he was concentrating very hard on something. Then he looked up sharply, and I was surprised by the intensity of his golden eyes. "Wait here for a second, would you?"

Without waiting for an answer, he stalked off after his Esquire.

I was confused about what was going on. One second, the mood was joking, and the next, it was like I was attending someone's funeral. Maybe I really was going insane.

My only comfort was that insane people didn't know that they were insane. It wasn't much, but it was something.

King Arthur reached his Esquire, or Alec, and starting talking to him in a low voice. I started to get that awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach, the one you get when you know someone is talking about you.

Alec suddenly looked over at me, his eyes open in surprise, and then his face clouded over. He looked angry, but that might just be how he always looked.

I shuffled my feet uncomfortably, feeling like a caged animal on exhibition.

Alec and King Arthur came over to me, and I felt a wave of fear roll over me.

"We need you to come with us," said King Arthur.

I noticed that Alec had the same tattoos as Arthur. Were they part of a cult? My fear doubled. Or maybe it was a gang. Or a terrorist group. Or assassins. Or—

I stepped backwards. "I—I think I need to go home now."

Alec and Arthur exchanged looks. "Look," said Alec stiffly, "we're not going to hurt you. We just need to talk to you."

Wasn't that what they always said in movies? 'We just want to talk.' And then that character ended up in an alley somewhere, a bullet through the head.

I was about to have an emotional breakdown. For weeks I had been stressed about the visions, I was probably going insane, and now two muscular guys with weird tattoos were telling me that they 'just wanted to talk to me'.

Melinda. Melinda had mysteriously disappeared. Was I going to mysteriously disappear?

I couldn't breathe. I think I was shaking.

Were there any witnesses? I looked around. There was only an old dear who was probably deaf and partially blind, and a sketchy guy near the entrance with a beard down to his waist who was smoking something. It didn't look like a cigarette.

A took a deep breath. And another one.

"Ok, look, I don't know what's going on. I didn't mean to insult your tattoos or anything, but I really need to be going. So if I could just…"

I tried to step past Arthur, but he blocked my path.

"Jace," Alec said warningly.

"Jace?" I asked. "I thought you name was Arthur!"

He shrugged. "So I lied."

He had seemed so… so… normal! And not, well, friendly, but at least cordial. But now he and his friend were trying to drag me somewhere by force. What was going on? _What was going on?_

Fear turned to anger. I wasn't going to stand for this! I was sick of being afraid, afraid of going insane, afraid of these people. I wanted out, and I wanted out now. I wanted to be home, with a cup of coffee and a good movie.

The only fighting moves I knew were from Ms. Congeniality: SING. Solar plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin. I decided to skip straight to ING.

I slammed down on Jace's foot, and made to swing at his nose. He grunted, but before I could actually hit his nose, he had scooped me up. Throwing me over one shoulder, he called to Alec, "Let's go."

"Let go of me!" I shrieked. I started pounding Jace's back, but it didn't affect him it all. "I demand you let go!"

I could feel tears welling up. I looked wildly around, but the old dear was saying something about young love, and Alec was looking determinately toward the exit.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I think this the most I had ever hated being short. Compared to Jace, I was like an annoying fly.

Jace walked calmly out of SmartMart with Alec trailing behind him.

He opened the door of a bright, shiny blue car, and deposited me in the back seat. The moment he set me down, I tried to make a run for it, but once again he overpowered me. Suddenly, he had a coil of rope in his hands, and he tied my hands efficiently behind my back, and then looped it around the seat belt for good measure.

"What kind of a person keeps rope in the back seat of their car?" I asked.

Jace, however, ignored me.

"Try not to damage the car, ok? It's a rental."

Keeping eye contact with him, I deliberately kicked the seat in front on me.

He rolled his eyes, and then hopped into the driver's seat. Alec followed suit, except in the passenger seat.

On the drive to who-know-where's, Jace and Alec had completely normal conversation. They even turned the radio on, chatting amiably, as if they did this every day. This wasn't a good sign for me.

I bet they were trained assassins.

I did my best to be annoying, kicking the seat in front of me, kicking pretty much everything else, and keeping up a constant rant of "Let me out!"

Eventually, we reached what I assumed to be our final destination. I think that I had tear tracks running down my face, but I couldn't wipe them away.

Jace turned around to face me, and with a crooked smile he said, "Welcome to the Institute."


	3. Kidnapped by the Mafia part II

_A/N Thanks so much for all the reviews I got! I'm sorry if I didn't answer them personally, but I really appreciate every one . Anyways, here's the next chapter…._

_XXXXXXXXXX_

"The Institute?" I said. "I knew it! You guys live in a mental institute!"

Jace scrunched up his face. "That's funny. Isabelle said the same thing only yesterday."

Alec sighed. "Don't worry. We don't live in a mental institute. That's just what it's called."

Jace and Alec got out of the car, and Alec made to open my car door. "Wait," said Jace. "I've got another bit of rope in the trunk that we can put around her legs so she doesn't run away again."

"What?" said Alec. "We could have put that on her legs in the first place! She was kicking the back of my chair the whole way over here!"

"I know. It was quite amusing."

Alec gave Jace The Look of Death, and then opened the trunk viciously. "Here," he said curtly, and handed Jace the rope.

"Thanks, darling," Jace said, and I swear I saw Alec blush.

Jace opened my door and starting tying the rope tightly around my feet. Not too tightly, but tight enough that there was no wiggle room. He was an expert at tying knots. Even though I was now pretty convinced that Alec and Jace were part of some gang, it was hard to ignore the fact that a cute guy was in extremely close proximity of me.

Right when he had finished, I managed to raise up my legs sharply, and my foot caught his eye. Swearing, he clutched at his eye, while Alec chuckled appreciatively in the background. It was the first feeling of true satisfaction I had had all day long.

Jace picked me up again, bridal style this time, and we headed towards a dilapidated church. They _were_ part of a gang! It screamed sketchiness, and could just imagine all the parties they threw there for their serial killer and drug lord friends.

My voice was scratchy from yelling so much, and I was silent the whole way up to the building. Jace opened the church doors, muttering something unintelligible.

As we crossed over the threshold, the church seemed to shift before my eyes. It no longer looked run-down, and now had the appearance of a grand hotel. The foyer had marble flooring, with a huge, ancient chandelier hanging down from the ceiling. An elevator was in one corner, and the whole place had a feeling of rich emptiness.

I gasped. Jace looked down at me, an amused expression on his face. "How… is that possible?"

"Is what possible?"

"It changed. The building, I mean. From the outside it looked terrible, but now it looks nice."

"It's a glamour. Magic—Shadowhunters had a warlock put it on the building a couple centuries ago."

I was confused at first, but then I realized that it was probably code words for something. I was now leaning toward the 'Organized Crime' theory. Their building was just too nice. And if they had been around for centuries… Ok, my new theory: The Mafia.

Suddenly, I realized that I had had an almost cordial conversation with the person who had kidnapped me, and I felt angry at myself. But then I saw that Jace's eye was already swelling up to a lovely shade of purple, and I felt a little bit better.

Jace carried me into the elevator, with Alec just behind him. The doors clanged shut, and I wondered if my guardian angel was looking down on this, if she existed, and how she felt about me tied up in an elevator with the grocery store check-out man and his Esquire.

When we reached what I think was the second floor, Jace and Alec stepped out (me being with them, obviously, because Jace is carrying me) only to be pounced upon by a black-haired girl. She was beautiful in a way that I knew I could never be, and for a second I felt a pang of jealousy.

"Jace! Alec! What on earth are you doing here? And why have you got that poor girl tied up in your arms, Jace? I know that sometimes girls play hard-to-get with you, but that's no excuse for tying them up and—"

"Oh my god!" I shrieked, my voice suddenly returning to me. "Are you guys rapists?"

I started wiggling furiously, trying desperately to get loose. That had been the final straw for me.

"No! We're not rapists!" Jace said, trying to keep me from hitting the floor. "Jeez, Isabelle, why did you say that? Now it's going to be even harder to get her to Hodge's library."

"Oh. Well, it seemed to be the most likely explanation to me," Isabelle huffed. "Is she a warlock or something? Or maybe a pixie. She's short enough."

Ok, jealousy moment officially over. Now I was just annoyed.

"In any case, you guys are being really very rude! I bet you haven't even introduced yourselves properly yet."

She crossed the hall, and stopped right in front of me. "Hi! I'm Isabelle. It's nice to meet you." She then tried to shake my hand through the ropes, with only partial success.

I couldn't believe this girl. She _couldn't_ be serious. She thought that if they introduced themselves to me, I wouldn't think anything of being, oh, I don't know, being tied up in ropes and kidnapped. _Yes,_ I thought sarcastically, _because if they shake my hand, then they'll be perfect gentlemen!_ But I didn't say anything, because I was trying to make a point.

"Ok, well, Isabelle, we really must be going. Places to go, things to do, people to kidnap," said Jace briskly.

He pushed past Isabelle, and then he and Alec started walking down one of the adjacent corridors to the hall. "I'm making dinner tonight!" Isabelle called after their retreating backs. "Your favorite! Lasagna soup!"

Jace groaned, and then turned to Alec. "You still have Taki's on speed dial, right?"

"Don't I always?"

"Good. Order one of the Melted Mermaid pizzas, ok?"

"I heard that!" yelled Isabelle, but Jace firmly ignored her.

"_You_ only like that pizza because it comes with a free mermaid doll," pointed out Alec.

"What can I say? I'm a bit of a sucker for collector's items, especially the classics," replied Jace.

"The mermaid doll that doesn't wear a top," stated Alec.

"Ah. Well, that might be a contributing factor."

Great. Apparently they were perverts as well as Mafia members.

We finally reached a heavy oak door, and Jace glanced down at me and said, "We have arrived at Hodge's library."

"It sounds like a torture chamber," I said, because it kind of did.

"Only when he's teaching us about the properties of herbs," said Jace, and with that he pushed the doors open.

My first impression was: books. There were stacks of books upon books upon books, old books, new books, gigantic books and pocket-sized books, manuals and cookbooks, textbooks and novels. I hope that when I die, heaven looks something like this.

I was so busy staring at the books, I didn't see the man sitting at the desk at the far end of the room.

"Hello," said the man, and I jumped as much as I could, considering I was tied up and being carried. "Jace, why are you carrying that tied-up girl?"

"Ok, well, first off, I'm _not_ a rapist."

The man cocked an eyebrow. "I never said you were one."

"Well, Isabelle seemed to think so. I was just setting the record straight."

The man, whom I assumed was Hodge, sighed and said, "Ok, now that we know that you're not a rapist, please continue in your story."

Jace cleared his throat melodramatically, and started to speak. "As you know, we were stationed at SmartMart. One of SmartMart's lovely costumers is Ms. Frey here."

"Wait. How do you know my last name?" I asked. I don't remember ever giving him my last name.

"I looked it up in the phone book," he said indifferently.

"What?"

"Ok, ok, I apologize for Jace's behavior. He had no right to invade your privacy like that. However, I would like to hear the rest of this story," cut in Hodge.

Jace had a thoughtful expression on his face. "You know, you should get a set of pre-made cards that say 'I apologize for Jace Wayland's behavior'. It would be much classier and more efficient. Although," he said, reconsidering, "you might have to get a couple extra packs. That way you could follow Alec and I throughout a battle and stick the cards in unconscious people's mouth."

"Jace," said Hodge irritably. "The story."

"Right. Well, the first time I saw Ms. Frey, she was able to see the Ingred demon that had been supplying the company."

"Really?" questioned Hodge, looking suddenly interested.

"Yes. There was also something to do with raisons," and at this Hodge started to look irritated again, so Jace quickly said, "which you probably don't want to hear about. And the second time she came to the grocery store, she was able to see my runes, and Alec's runes."

"And you had but a strong glamour on them?" interrogated Hodge.

"Yessir," replied Jace.

"Hmmm," said Hodge, and leaned back in his chair to get a better look at me.

We sat there for several minutes in complete silence, while Hodge contemplated things.

That was the edge for me. "Ok, look people," I burst in angrily, "I have no idea what's going on, I've been kidnapped, and now you guys are talking about me like I'm not even here. _And_ I'm tied up. _And_ the milk that I bought has probably gone bad by now. If you guys are going to kill me, at least tell me why!" I took a deep breath, and then continued in my rant. "I want to talk to mom before I die, and I also want to say that if you let me go, I'll never tell anyone that your Mafia headquarters are here!"

Silence. Then: "Why is she talking about the Mafia and dying?"

"To be honest," said Jace, "I have no idea."

I hung my head. I was scared and frustrated.

"At least… At least tell me why I'm here," I said in a quieter voice.

Hodge leaned forward in his chair, his eyes piercing me. "Ms. Frey, you are here because there is a large chance that you are not, in fact, human."


	4. Demons are Real

I thought for a minute. "Is that like code word? Because I don't speak Mafia-lingo. I know that warlock probably means like a hustler or something, and Shadowhunters is the name of your gang, but I don't know what 'human' stands for."

Hodge sighed. "Jace, what have you been telling her?"

"Nothing! I haven't been telling her anything! She came up with this on her own."

"Likely." Another sigh. He seemed to do that a lot, or maybe it was just around Jace.

"Ms. Frey, your world is not what it seems. Supernatural creatures do actually exist—or at least some of them do. Warlocks, for example, are a crossover of demon and human. Among the many supernatural creatures that inhabit Earth, Shadowhunters are mainly concerned with demons." He looked at the expression on her face. "Yes, demons do exist, and that is the reason that Shadowhunters exist. It is our mission—our profession—to exterminate demons who plague this world." He considered for a minute. "Which is basically every demon."

Hodge paused for a minute, to allow everything that he had said to sink in. My mind was whirling. It was impossible. Demons didn't exist, and neither did warlocks or fairies or anything else of that nature. There was simply no way.

On the other hand, if these creatures were real, that meant that I hadn't been crazy over the past few weeks. The mermaids and devils and fairies had been real. That would explain everything.

I had three main theories running at this point:

Demons did exist, and so did fairies and warlocks, etc. Aka, I wasn't crazy.

I was crazy, and this whole thing was a hallucination.

Of course, the fall-back conspiracy theory. Some group of people had been paid to run around the city wearing devil horns and fairy wings, in order to freak me out, and then had abducted me to convince me that the supernatural existed.

I tentatively decided to try theory one, at least for a little while. Just to test it out.

"If demons did exist… And I'm not saying they _do_… And you guys really are demon hunters… Then what were you doing bagging groceries?"

"Are you implying that bagging groceries is not a manly and dangerous task? Because I can assure you, it took a lot of guts to walk into that store every day and put people's food into bags for them," said Jace. "For example, there was this old man with a bucket of prunes he wanted to buy, and he just went _on_ and _on _about his digestive problems—"

"Jace," intervened Alec, "shut up. No one wants to hear about that."

I rolled my eyes. "Ok, sure. I think that bagging groceries is right up there with combating evil and slaying demons. But that wasn't the question. Why were you at the grocery store instead of hunting demons?"

"Well, technically we _were_ hunting demons. Your store, SmartMart, is a cover up. The real business is in the back rooms. Someone has been running a demon drug company back there, selling demon drugs to Downworlders and rich mundanes. It's our job to figure out who's running the business, who's supplying the drugs, and eventually, shut the whole chain down. We're pretty sure that the Ingred demon you saw the other day was one of the ones supplying the drugs, but we can't arrest him—well, kill him—until we're sure who everyone else is in the business. Alec and I decided that one of the best ways to find out information was to get a job there. A few fake certificates later, we had a job."

At this point in time, I had about a million questions, all fighting to come out of my mouth at once. "Well—I—If… What's a Downworlder?"

"A warlock, werewolf, vampire, faery, nymph, etc." answered Alec.

"Werewolves and vampires are real?" I asked, my voice suddenly an octave higher.

"Yep," said Jace, as if it was just about the best thing in the world.

"What's a demon drug?" I questioned.

"Usually, it's a mundane drug, such as opium, mixed with dried demon blood. The blood gives it much more potency, and unfortunately, makes it much more addictive," said Hodge.

"Another question… If demons are smart enough to run a business, then don't you feel bad about killing them? I mean, don't they have a conscious?"

"No, we don't feel bad," answered Jace, and a shadow crossed his face. "Demons have varying levels of intelligence. Some have less intelligence than animals, and some have around the same intelligence as humans. However, they are lacking one thing: a soul. They are basically parasites."

"Oh." I shivered without meaning to. Demons were supposed to be alive only nightmares, and now it turned out that one went to my grocery store. "Well, what kind of supernatural creatures are there? Do you hunt them, too? Are _you_ guys human?"

Hodge interrupted my line of questioning. "As much as we would like to answer your questions, we could probably sit here for days explaining everything about our world. Here," he said, and got up from his desk, carrying a large, ancient book. He picked up another one from a shelf on his way over, and handed both to me. "Read these. One is The Codex, and one is a basic history book."

"Um…" I looked at the books, which were awkwardly balanced on my stomach. "One more quick question. Can someone untie me?"

"Oh, right," said Jace, and set me down gently. He pulled out a dagger from his boot, and sliced open the ropes with expertise. "So do you believe us now?"

I thought about it. "I'm pretty convinced, but I would like to see actual proof before I'm one hundred percent sure."

As ludicrous as it sounded, it actually made sense to me. Like a story I had been told when I was very little and had forgotten about, only to be reminded of when I was older. My life had been a puzzle, and I had one piece left to put on, but I couldn't seem to make sense of it. And then I had realized that I had been looking at the puzzle upside down.

"But I still haven't forgiven you for kidnapping me! Or tying me up!" I huffed away, and tried to make a dramatic exit, but then realized that I had no idea how to get outside from the library.

"Before you can leave," said Hodge gently, "there is still the main question to address: What are you?"

It was like ice had been poured down my back. In my excitement at discovering this new world, I had completely forgotten about the fact that I could see it, and because I could see it, it meant I was a part of it somehow. It was terrifying to think that I might not be human.

"I don't think that you're a warlock, because you don't have any visible signs, and I don't think you're a faery either. You would definitely know if you were a werewolf or a vampire, believe me."

"How?"

"Well, think about it this way: have you had any urges to drink people's blood, or sprouted hair once a month?" asked Jace.

I shook my head.

"Well, then, you're not a vampire or a werewolf."

"That means that the only option left is a Shadowhunter," said Hodge softly, his eyes peering at me curiously.

I gaped. "I'm one of _you_?"

"You make it sound like bad thing!" Jace said, sounding offended.

"I just… Wouldn't I know? Do you have to have some sort of ceremony or ritual to become a Shadowhunter?"

"No. You're born with it," said Jace.

"But that's not possible either. My mom is completely normal," I said.

Hodge, Jace, and Alec exchanged glances, like they had some sort of secret that I didn't know.

Hodge said, "I think that's enough for today. You can stay in one of the Institute's rooms and read the Codex. Relax for a little bit, and let everything sink in. It can come as a bit of a shock."

"Can't I go home?" I knew I sounded whiny, but I didn't care.

"I don't think that that's advisable right now," said Hodge. "You're more vulnerable now that you know about our world, but you don't know how to defend yourself yet. It's dangerous to go out alone if you're an untrained Shadowhunter, and even more so in a place like New York City."

I nodded. I think I was going numb all over, now that all the information had sunk in.

I turned to go, but Hodge touched my shoulder lightly. "Listen… We're keeping you here because there's a high possibility that you're a Shadowhunter. However, we don't know for certain, and if it turns out that you're Downworlder, then you can stay for a certain amount of time as a guest, but you can't stay indefinitely."

"I think I'm just fine with that," I said, and for the first time that day, I gave a small smile.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was in one of the Institute's rooms, and I had just finished reading The Codex. The sun had just gone down behind my window, and my room was filled with shadows.

Today was surreal. That was the one word I would have used to describe it. Looking back on everything…

Suddenly, I bolted straight up in bed. Melinda! I needed to know what had happened to her, and if she was alright.

I padded across the room to the door, and out into the corridor. Where was everyone, and how did I find them? After a couple of minutes of standing around, I heard the faint notes of a piano coming from down the hall. Straining my ears, I followed it.

The sound continued to get louder and louder, until I was standing in front of the room where it was coming from. I hesitated, and then knocked.

A "Come in," sounded faintly from within.

I opened the door and saw Jace playing at the piano.

"Clary," he said, sounding faintly surprised.

I tried very hard not to stare at his chest, because his muscles were plainly visible through his t-shirt.

"Um, I just wanted to ask… Is Melinda ok?"

"Melinda? Oh, her. She 'conveniently' won the lottery, and is now in the Caribbean. Just like I said." He paused. "Don't you trust me?"

"Well, it's been a little hard since you tied me up and kidnapped me," I said drily.

"You still don't forgive for that?"

"Well, it's not exactly a small thing," I pointed out. "You can't just say 'I'm sorry' and expect me to get over it. I thought I was going to die!"

"There's a high chance that I'm going to die every day, and you don't see me giving everyone the cold shoulder about it."

"Well, that's different. You're used to it! You're trained to be a killing machine. But I'm not."

Jace's eyes were suddenly very hard and very cold. "Is that what you think I am? A killing machine?" he said very quietly.

"Well, no," I said unconvincingly. "I only just met you. I don't know anything about you."

Jace stood up. "You're right about that."

He walked past me, and the breath caught in my chest a little bit. "I'm going to go out. Good night."

And then he left me in his room, leaving me to wonder what on earth I had done so wrong.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N Sorry there hasn't been much romance yet. Don't worry, there will be more in the future! I also know that the plot has been kind of random so far, but it will all tie together (hopefully) soon. Thanks for reading!_


	5. Shopping, Warlocks, and Slow Drivers

I woke up the following morning in the Institute, wrapped in a thin blanket. In the Institute, everything was functional before anything else. Cold and efficient, with a clear-cut purpose; and so it was that I found myself on a less-than comfortable bed with a less-than warm blanket. In one corner there was a wooden chair, and the rest of my room was furnished with a dresser, a small writing desk, and bedside table. It was filled with what I needed, but not what I wanted.

Shivering, I felt homesick. I wanted to see Simon and my mom. Hell, I would have been happy to see Mrs. Franks right now.

I got up, and realized that I was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Of course I was, I thought. It wasn't like I had packed to be here.

Walking out of my room, I looked right and left, uncertain of where to go. After some deliberation, I decided to go right, because it sounded… Well, right.

After walking for what seemed like ages, I bumped into Alec. He had been in a room that looked like it was full of weapons. Ok…

Nonetheless, I was excited to see another human being. "Alec!" I said happily, and he looked confused as to why I was so happy to see him.

"Um, hi," he said.

"Where's the kitchen?" I asked, because I was feeling faintly peckish.

He blinked, and then: "Left, right, right, left, straight, right, left, straight, right, and then straight ahead."

"Can you repeat that again?"

He did, and then when I still had a blank look on my face, he scowled and walked away, muttering something about mundanes.

Wow, well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I got the feeling that he didn't like me very much, but I didn't know why. I felt very alone now, and even more homesick than before.

I tried to remember the list of directions he had given me, and after several minutes and wrong turns, I ended up in what I assumed to be the kitchen. I assumed this because there was smoke billowing out from underneath the door, and I could Isabelle's shrieks coming from inside.

Jace was sitting at the table, looking morose and staring at… Well, I don't know what it was, but it was on a plate, so I assumed that it was food. Isabelle was standing at the stove and stirring something in a pot. When she saw me, she brightened up and said, "Clary!"

She plopped a glob of stuff from the pot into a bowl, and handed it to me. "It's breakfast," she explained. "It started off as oatmeal, but…"

"Thanks," I said, and I really meant it. Isabelle seemed to be the only one who was being nice to me this morning, and I really needed it. Even if she was much prettier than me, and insulted my height, and was an awful cook, at least she had reached out to me.

I sat down at the table next to Jace. There was an awkward silence between us. I still didn't understand what had happened last night. I hadn't meant to offend him, and why did he refuse to properly apologize for kidnapping me? It didn't make sense to me. At all.

Jace poked at his… um, oatmeal, and suddenly picked it up. He carried it over to the sink, placed it inside and said to Isabelle, "I thought it was going to eat me."

Then he left without a backwards glance. "Then eat it first!" Isabelle yelled at him, but he didn't turn around. Isabelle swore colorfully under her breath, stirring the pot viciously.

"What's up with Jace?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" said Isabelle almost pityingly. A sigh. "Don't mind him. He can get kind of moody. But…"

"But what?" I asked when Isabelle didn't continue.

She bit her lip. "It's nothing."

I continued to eat my breakfast. Or rather, I pushed it around my plate and made it look like I had. I tried to eat it, I really did, but I just couldn't manage it. After a while, I put my plate in the sink next to Jace's.

"Hey," said Isabelle, catching my attention. "Since Alec and Jace are off at SmartMart, do you wanna go shopping?"

Since I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough, and because she had been pretty nice to me this morning, I ended up saying 'Sure.'

As I walked upstairs to get semi-cleaned up, I realized that it was probably a good thing that we were going shopping. I could get some clothes to change into. Shortly after this, I realized that we could probably stop by my house and we could pick up clothes there, too.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth with a toothbrush that I had borrowed from Isabelle—she got new ones from the dentist every time she went—I went downstairs and met up with Isabelle in the foyer.

Isabelle was wearing a black mini-skirt, with red heels and designer sun glasses. I felt like a blob of goo next to her in my tee-shirt and jeans.

"I don't have my purse or wallet with me," I said. "It got left at the grocery store."

"That's ok. I have a credit card you can use," replied Isabelle loftily.

"Seriously?" I said. "Wow. Did your parents give it to you or something?"

"You could say that," she replied.

As we walked out of the Institute, I just couldn't get my head around the fact that Isabelle gave me a credit card like it was nothing. "I suppose that it pays well to be Shadowhunter?" I asked.

"It can," she said. She didn't elaborate, and I didn't push for an answer.

We got into a car, a beat-up Volkswagen bug, and drove off, Isabelle swearing angrily at slow drivers or bicyclists. On the car ride to the mall, I asked, "How come you're not at SmartMart, too?"

"Well, it's combination of factors," she answered, swerving dangerously close to street light. "The first is that it would look suspicious if three people who already knew each other all applied for a job there at the same time. It's sketchy enough getting _two_ jobs there." At this point she broke off, instead yelling something at a slow ice cream truck driver about where he could stick his double fudge popsicle, if that made him go faster. "Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh, right. Also, we have a bit of a dilemma: demons can see our runes, or at least the smarter demons can, and it would be a dead giveaway if they caught us all inked-up."

"Why don't you just not put on runes that day?" I asked curiously.

"The thing is," answered Isabelle, "is that you need to be ready at any moment, especially on a mission like that. So, runes are a must. Eventually, we found a warlock who was willing to put strong glamours over our runes, to hide them, but it's really quite expensive to buy a glamour that strong. Mayrse, my mom, only wanted to pay for two people. Jace and Alec volunteered for the mission, Jace because, well, it's Jace, and if it's a dangerous mission, you can count him in. I didn't expect Alec to volunteer, but I have a sneaking suspicion it might have something to do with the discount the warlock gave us on the glamours."

I was feeling rather lost at this point, and completely failed to make the connection between the warlock's discount and Alec volunteering.

We arrived at the mall, Isabelle swerving into a parking spot and only narrowly avoiding decapitating a pigeon.

Isabelle strode confidently into the mall, with me behind her. I was starting to faintly afraid, and I didn't know why. And then Isabelle passed a window display, shrieked, and literally dragged me into the store to try stuff on, and I knew why.

Nearly three hours had passed of me being dragged into changing rooms and forced into different clothes, and then dragged out again to see how they looked. Isabelle vetoed some and gave the thumbs up for others, and then tried on clothes herself. I managed to only buy two tops, one set of jeans, and one pair of shoes, with the excuse that I had plenty of clothes at my house that we could pick up later. If Isabelle had her way, she would have bought a whole new wardrobe for me, but I decided to spare her parents. I could only imagine their expression when they got the credit card bill. Anyways, we were now proceeding towards a café.

As we approached the outdoor café, I could see a tall, very sparkly person sitting at a table. His hair was done up in glittery black spikes, and he appeared to be wearing a lacy black top covered with a plain white suit jacket and plain white suit bottoms. As we got closer to him, I could see that his coffee was _stirring itself_.

"My, my," said Isabelle. "Aren't we subdued today, Magnus?"

He looked up, and I inhaled sharply. His glitter-and-eyeliner encrusted eyes were a bright green, with vertical pupils like a cat's. "Isabelle, darling!" he said, and then looked down. "I know. I was in a very conservative mood this morning."

I think my definition of conservative was very different than his, but oh well.

"And who's this?" asked Magnus, looking at me appraisingly.

"This is Clary Frey," said Isabelle. "Jace and Alec discovered her. It's actually quite curious. She could see us, and demons, but so far we don't know what she is. When we found her, she didn't know anything about our world!"

"Is that so?" said Magnus, carefully inspecting a glittery nail. "How unusual."

"Clary," she said, turning to me, "this is Magnus Bane. He was the warlock that put the glamours on Jace and Alec."

"Oh, hi," I said. "Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine," said Magnus formally. There was something in his voice that I couldn't quite place, something that made me feel like he was enjoying a private joke no one but he understood.

"Come, sit down," said Magnus, who snapped his fingers, causing two chairs to automatically draw up next to the table.

Magnus and Isabelle started talking right away about various things, including cats, clothes, and for some reason, Alec. Since this was my first time ever talking to a warlock, or even a Downworlder, for that matter, I tried to pay close attention. All I seemed to get out of the conversation, however, was that warlocks were very shiny and liked parties.

When I had first heard about warlocks, I had pictured wrinkly old men with long flowing beards and robes, chanting from dusty spell books. Magnus didn't quite match up with that description.

Suddenly, he turned to face me, catching me staring at him. "Yes…?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, blushing furiously. "I've never met a warlock before, and…"

"Well, I should just warn you that warlocks are temperamental, and enjoy eating small children and rodents. We also live in caves and are world-renowned mushroom farmers."

"Really?"

"No. Don't be ridiculous. Mushrooms don't grow in caves."

"Oh," I said in a small voice.

"Don't listen to him, Clary," sighed Isabelle. "He's just trying to scare you."

"Did it work? Do you find me scary?" he asked, leaning forward inquisitively.

"No," I said truthfully. "Just very shiny."

"Excellent," he said, and leaned back in his chair lazily.

"Ok," said Isabelle. "We really must be going. Jace and Alec are going to be home soon, bitching about customers. Or at least Jace will."

We said Ciao to Magnus, and started walking back to the parking lot. I looked back at the café a couple minutes later, but Magnus had vanished, leaving behind only a couple sprinkles of glitter.

On the ride home, nothing eventful happened except that Isabelle got into what can only be described as a swearing war with a New York taxi driver. We stopped by my apartment and I ran up and grabbed a bag and some random clothes from my closet. Isabelle poked around my apartment, looking through my kitchen and living room.

"I love these sketches!" she said, pointing at some of the sketches that were taped to my living room wall. "Although I'm not sure about this coffee table… I doesn't really go with the room, you know?"

"Yeah. I've been meaning to get rid of it."

She peered at my clothes. "Wow, well, it was a good thing we went shopping," was all she said. I tried very hard not to be offended, and reminded myself that it was just Isabelle being Isabelle.

After a final look around my apartment, she pronounced that it was "cute and cozy." A pretty good summary of my apartment, I thought.

Following the quick trip to my apartment, we finally made it back to the Institute. Isabelle and I walked into the foyer, to find Jace and Alec standing there covered in… tomato juice? Well, the majority of them was covered in tomato juice. I could also identify cheez whiz, pickles, and whipped cream. Alec had a piece of lettuce stuck in his hair, and Jace had olives plastered to his shirt. Isabelle gaped at them. "What on earth happened to _you_?"

"Our cover may or may not have been blown," said Jace.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N Reviews are great, and thanks to anyone who has already reviewed! The next chapter should be up soon. I'm trying to make Isabelle and Clary closer friends in this fanfic, and I'm debating whether to introduce Simon into the story or not. Tell me what you think! Love, HoneydukesFan._


	6. Unfortunate Happenings with Vegetables

"I'm leaning towards 'cover blown'," said Isabelle.

"What gave it away? Was it the olives?" replied Jace.

"The lettuce," I said, thoughtfully contemplating the (now) rather limp vegetable suspended in Alec's hair.

"So, what happened?" attacked Isabelle.

"Jace was a daft prick, that's what happened," said Alec.

"Well you helped!" retorted Jace. "It was a combined-effort fiasco."

Alec rolled his eyes. "It's kind of a long story, involving a poodle and a Greater Demon." He rubbed his face. "But first," he said, as he walked in the direction of the kitchen, "I need a cup of coffee."

"Mayrse, Robert, and Hodge are already in the kitchen. We're going to tell the whole story there," said Jace. He looked like he needed a cup of coffee, too.

"What? Mom and dad are here?" Isabelle gasped.

"Yeah. They portaled in from Idris the moment I told them what had happened."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yep. Definitely not one of my better days."

I followed Isabelle and Jace down to the kitchen, wondering what on Earth had gone so wrong. What was a Greater Demon, and how were poodles involved? And where was Idris?

When we entered the kitchen, a congregation of people had already gathered around the table. Hodge was sitting in a wooden chair at the far end of the kitchen, next to Alec, who was cradling a cup of coffee like it was a life line. Sitting together at one side of the kitchen table were two people I didn't recognize: one was a woman who looked like a carbon copy of Isabelle, except older, and one was a thick-set man who looked like he would be more comfortable in armor rather than the black t-shirt and slacks he was currently wearing. I could only assume that they were Robert and Mayrse Lightwood. And sitting almost directly in front of the door was a small, serious-looking boy with brown hair who couldn't have been more than nine years old.

"Jace!" said the boy, and practically leaped into Jace's arms.

"Max," said Jace, and I saw him smile for the first time. Really smile—not the sarcastic grin that often crosses his face. After Max had finished giving Jace a hug, he turned to Isabelle. Grinning, she scooped Max up into her arms, too. Then he turned to me.

"What's your name?" he inquired, looking at me over the tops of his glasses.

I smiled and said, "Clary."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," said Max, and shook my hand with such a serious expression on his face that I almost started laughing. Almost.

"Likewise," I said.

He walked over to where Alec was sitting, and sat down on his lap. Alec smiled and re-adjusted his coffee.

Mayrse stood up. "I think we should put this impromptu meeting into session. Jace and Alec, please give a short account of what happened, and then Robert and I will proceed upstairs and meet with several other people from the Clave as to what we should do next. Alec, you may join us, seeing as you are now of age."

Alec nodded, while Jace and Isabelle looked faintly offended. "What, I'm not allowed to go up?" asked Jace. "I didn't fight a Greater Demon and get pickles poured down my pants just so I could sit back and watch this operation from the sidelines."

"Well, technically, you didn't really fight the Greater Demon. We had to leave before that, remember? We more just hid in the cereal section and escaped while we got the chance," put in Alec.

"That's beside the point, Alec," said Jace.

"In any case," said Mayrse firmly, "you're not of age, and according to Clave law, you are not permitted in the meeting."

"What am I supposed to do while you guys are in the meeting?" asked Jace. "Knit?"

"No," answered Mayrse. "I was rather thinking that you could help Isabelle cook dinner."

Silence. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Look," cut in Robert. "Can we argue about this later? The Clave members are coming in half an hour, and I'm sure that some people still want to hear Jace's and Alec's story."

Jace gave a slightly resentful 'Ok.'

He cleared his throat. "Around lunch time, one of the Ingred demons walked into the store leading a poodle. This was, in and of itself, extremely odd, as I think you'll agree. I didn't notice anything particularly odd about the poodle, and neither did Alec. The only weird thing was the way the Ingred demon appeared to treat the poodle. He was very polite to it, and allowed the poodle to drag him all over the store. The poodle eventually stopped in front of a morbidly obese man, and when the Ingred demon convinced the man to come to the back rooms with him, I knew something was up. When no one was looking, I snuck back to the backrooms to watch them."

"Without telling me," added Alec.

"Anyways, I watched them for a while, and then, suddenly, the poodle shifted shape. While it was transitioning shapes, the presence of the demon was perfectly clear. It was definitely a Greater Demon. What was weird, however, was that I couldn't tell that it was a Greater Demon when it was in its poodle form or in its new form, and considering that Greater Demons have an almost overpowering essence, this was incredible."

"Wait. Let me get this straight. This obviously incredibly powerful demon was in the form of a… Poodle? Couldn't it have chosen a form that was just a little more intimidating? A bulldog, maybe? Or what about that three-headed dog from Harry Potter, Fluffy?" asked Isabelle.

Jace snapped, "I don't know. Maybe it had spent some time in France, or something. Anyways, at this point, the obese man was tied up and the Greater Demon was now a woman. The Greater Demon walked out of the back rooms, and the moment she did, the Ingred demon tried to eat the man."

"Notice the _tried,"_ said Alec. "Jace, of course, went in all-out, with seraph blades and everything."

"Well, what should I have done?" demanded Jace.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe called for back-up or something? There was a Greater Demon, Jace! You could at least have told me before you decided to take on a horde of demons."

"In any case, I did attack the Ingred demon, and quickly decapitated him. However, I wasn't counting on the fact that there was several other Ingred demons, as well as a multitude of underling demons that worked for the company. It got a bit messy," he admitted.

Alec grunted. "That's an understatement. I was alerted by the screams and the blood splattering from underneath the door of the store room."

"Yes, well. It wasn't _my_ blood, was it?"

"That's beside the point. Going back to the story, I joined the battle and dragged Jace out of the store room as quick as possible. I knew that there were too many demons for two people. We managed to make it half-way through the store before they caught up with us. Unfortunately, at this point we were being chased by three or four Ingred demons, multitudes of minor demons who were running the back shop, and several irate and drugged-up Downworlders."

"Hodge, you've always told us to use our surroundings, right? Well, we took that advice to heart, and the mother-of-all food fights broke loose," said Jace. "We actually discovered that pickles burn demons. I think it has something to do with the vinegar in them, or something. It's a wonder that no one has ever discovered this before now."

Hodge said drily, "That might be because not many people think about throwing pickles at demons when they're being attacked."

Alec continued in his story. "We were at the cereal section when the Greater Demon came out of the store room. She allowed us to catch a glimpse of her essence, and that's when I knew when we were in trouble. I convinced Jace that we needed to get out of there, and we grabbed the obese man and made a run for it. And here we are now."

There was a pause while everyone contemplated this.

Then I asked, "What happened to the man?"

"He's fine. Magnus is wiping his memory as we speak," responded Jace, but he didn't look at me.

"And there's one more thing…" said Jace haltingly. "In the store room, I got a look at the boxes. One of the boxes… One of the boxes had the mark of the Clave on it."

Silence. "Oh, crap."

I looked up, and was surprised to see that it was Robert who had said that.

"That either means that they've stolen something from the Clave, which is bad, or someone in the Clave is working with them, which is worse," explained Robert. "Looking at all of this information, it looks bad. What with the Greater Demon and the box with the Clave's mark on it, it's starting to look like this business runs deeper than just demon drugs."

Everyone took a moment of silence, to wallow in what a mess this was. Then Mayrse stood up. "Ok, we really need to be going. Hodge. Robert. Alec. Members from the Clave will be here soon to talk about what to do next. If it really was a Greater Demon…"

"Right then," said Robert, and he exited, followed by Alec, Hodge, and Mayrse.

"Ok, everybody!" said Isabelle chirpily, staring at Max, Jace, and me. "Who's ready to cook dinner?"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Um, Isabelle?" I asked, looking at the recipe. "Isn't this a bit complicated? I mean, couldn't we make something a bit simpler?"

"Nonsense!" said Isabelle. "We have four people. It should be a piece of cake."

"Right…" I said, examining the dumpling and gravy recipe.

Isabelle walked to the center of the room. "Listen up minions! I will assign each person a job, and we can get this done quickly and efficiently. Max, you're the errand boy. Clary, you're going to help me with the dumpling dough, and Jace, you're going to chop vegetables."

"Was that supposed to be funny? Because I don't find that funny," said Jace, looking at his vegetable-spattered shirt.

"Just chop vegetables, Jace. Here, start with the carrots."

He grabbed them and walked away in a huff.

"Let's get started, Clary," Isabelle said, rubbing her hands together. "Max, can you grab that flour?"

"Okey dokey," he said, and scurried over to get the flour.

Isabelle pulled a giant bowl from underneath the stove. "We're going to have to make like six times the recipe, because we have so many people."

We followed the recipe to the letter, adding six times of everything. Forty-five minutes later, we had a giant container of dumpling mix at our disposal. I had to admit, it didn't look that bad. "Jace, are those vegetables ready?"

"Yep," he said, carrying over a giant plate filled with mounds of chopped carrots, potatoes, and leeks.

"Excellent," said Isabelle. "Production line time!"

We got into a semi-organized line, with Isabelle at the head. Isabelle rolled out the dough, I filled the dumplings with vegetables, Jace wrapped up the dumplings, and Max placed them into a giant vat of boiling water. Two minutes into production mode, Isabelle's cell phone started ringing.

"Hello?" she said. "Oh, Magnus! Mmm-hmm. Yep, he is. Mmmm. Ok, see you later then." She hung up. "That was Magnus. He said he'll drop by later to get more instructions from the Clave, since he's finished wiping the memory of that obese guy."

"Why did he call you?" asked Jace.

Isabelle replied, "None of your business, that's why."

"You sound like you're planning something," said Jace suspiciously.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said loftily.

As the dumplings went down the production line, I noticed something. "Isabelle, aren't these a bit big?"

"Oh, no, no. They're the same size as they are in the picture, see?" She held up the picture accompanying the recipe. "Besides, I think the dumplings should be a bigger portion."

"Ok…"

We were quiet as we focused on making dumpling after dumpling after dumpling, each one placed into the water. Finally, after what felt like two hundred dumplings, we were done. Max placed the lid over the dumplings, and we all collapsed around the kitchen table. It was a lot harder than you would have thought, or at least, it was very boring, which made it seem harder than it actually was.

We chatted away for a while, Jace and Isabelle arguing over this and that. Fifteen minutes later, I thought I saw the pot shudder. I must have imagined it, I thought. But a couple seconds later, it shuddered again. "Guys," I said, "is it just me or is the pot… moving?"

"It's not just you," said Jace, as the pot gave another definite shudder.

I picked up the recipe to see if we had done something wrong. I flipped it over. Oh, dear. Written on the back were the words: 'DUMPLINGS WILL EXPAND, so be sure to make them smaller than usual.' "Isabelle, I think you should see this."

The pot was shaking now, rocking back and forth violently. Steam billowed out as much as it could from underneath the rim of the top.

Jace said very carefully, "I think we should back away now." We all started backing up. "It looks like it's about to—"

BAM.

The cover flew off the pot, and a great wave of boiling water erupted from the vat, sending torrents over the floor. A couple droplets landed on me and left angry red marks behind.

"My cell phone!" shrieked Isabelle, as her phone was doused with boiling water. However, I wasn't concerned with that. I was more concerned with the great mound of dough that was slowly rising above the rim of the pan. The dumplings had congealed into one giant dumpling, and the pressure caused by the too-small pot made the dough rise far more rapidly than it otherwise would have done. It spilled over the edge, sizzling when it hit the stove. We watched in horror as our dumplings, or rather, dumpling, flooded the kitchen.

The pressure had now caused bits of un-cooked carrot to shoot out of the mix, knocking into random things in the kitchen (one of which being my arm).

"It's like it's alive," said Jace in horrified fascination.

"What are we going to _do_?" I wailed. We couldn't get to the source of the problem, because squirts of boiling water kept erupting every few seconds. In addition, the carrots were whizzing by with more and more frequency, and the potatoes exploded under the heat and pressure like little potato bombs.

"Someone get help!" yelled Jace, as he dodged another wave of boiling water and leeks that had recently emerged from the pot.

Since I was the closest to the exit, I ran out the door to find help. My mind was going a million miles an hour. I had to find someone before that accursed dumpling ate someone! I took the stairs two at a time, not quite sure where to go. I sprinted down the main corridor upstairs until I heard the sound of voices, where I almost sighed in relief. I pushed open the doors, desperate for help, and shouted the first thing that came to my mind: "Carrots!"

Thirty or so people turned to look at me. "I _beg_ your pardon?" said a balding middle-aged man.

_Oh god. This must be the important meeting they were talking about. What do I do? Just… Act natural. _I could feel myself start to blush.

"Oh, nothing. I must have gotten the wrong room…." I hastily shut the door, my face burning even more than the dumpling downstairs. What should I do? There was no way I was opening this door again, even if we had managed to breed some sort of carnivorous man-eating dumpling. I was about to give up hope when I saw someone walking down the hall.

Just the person I needed!

I ran after him. "Magnus!" I said.

"Yeesss?" he inquired, peering down at me.

"You can snap your fingers!" I panted in relief.

"Yes. Yes, I can. Although I think you'll find, if you ask around, that quite a lot of people can snap their fingers."

"That's not what I meant. Downstairs—in the kitchen—we were cooking. Isabelle tried to make dumplings, Magnus!"

"Oh, dear."

"Yes! And I think it's going to eat someone if we don't hurry!"

"Lead the way, dear child."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fifteen minutes later, the dumpling fiasco had been cleaned up, thanks to a few snaps of Magnus's fingers. The kitchen had been repaired, although Isabelle had a long burn going up one arm. Everyone who had been involved in the incident had several marks, some caused by carrots or potatoes, and some by water, and everyone was feeling faintly frazzled. It was agreed right then that Isabelle should never be allowed to cook again, for fear of serious injury and/or death.

Jace said, in a rather depressed sort of way, "I don't think I've ever hated vegetables this much in my life."


	7. Author's note

A quick author's note: I'm sorry for the lack of Jace and Clary interaction. I'm trying to get around to that. Also, Simon will be introduced next chapter, and I'm not quite sure how (yet). Thanks for all the reviews! Feedback is appreciated. Love, HoneydukesFan.


	8. The Hairy Sumo

It was starting to go dark outside. I was sketching in my room, drawing a variety of things: My mother; Legolas, from Lord of The Rings; Jace, looking heroic as he stabbed a demon; a cat perched on a fence; a cartoon image of a carnivorous dumpling; and lastly, an angel rising out of a lake. I had just put my pencil down when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said.

My door opened, and Jace was there, leaning casually against the door frame. "Hi," he said.

"Why are you here?" I asked curiously.

He shrugged. "I heard it was your birthday."

"Really? From who?"

"Apparently, you let it slip to Isabelle when you guys were shopping."

I thought back. "Oh, I did, didn't I?"

There was a pause. "Look," I started. "I didn't mean to offend you last night…"

"How about we just forget about that for tonight? Because it's your birthday."

I smiled. "That sounds good to me."

"I was thinking…" said Jace. "For your birthday… If you want to grab a bite to eat, I can show you around the city." He was scrutinizing the dresser very carefully as he said this, as though afraid to look up.

"Um, ok," I said, trying not to show how happy I was. "Can I get changed first?"

"Of course. I'll be waiting in the foyer."

The moment he was gone, I got up and started rummaging around in my clothes. I pulled out one of the tops Isabelle and I had bought together, and then a pair of jeans. Throwing them on, I pulled my hair out of its pony tail and brushed it down. Then I put on my shoes and raced down to the foyer.

"Ready?" Jace asked, looking at my top. "You look cute."

I blushed, and mumbled a thank you.

He led me outside and to a motorcycle. "Where are we going?" I asked.

He winked. "It's a secret." He handed me a helmet, and then jammed one on his own head. "You know," he continued conversationally, "you're my hero."

I asked in a confused voice, "Me?"

"Yes. You saved me from that rabid dumpling in the kitchen."

"Well, no," I pointed out. "That was really Magnus."

"Yeah, but Magnus wouldn't have known that we were being consumed by a dumpling unless you had told him."

"True. Although…" I blushed again at the memory. "I kind of ran into the Clave meeting by accident first."

"Really? What did you say?"

"Well, first I said 'Carrots!' really loudly, because that was the first thing that popped into my head."

Jace had started laughing, gasping for air.

"What?" I asked.

"I bet they loved that," he gasped. "They need a bit of lightening up, they do. I wish I could have seen their faces."

"It's not funny!" I said, blushing furiously. "I was really embarrassed."

He smirked. "Whatever you say, Your Highness." He swung a leg over the motorcycle, and looked behind him. "Are you going to get in your carriage, Princess?"

"Stop calling me that," I muttered, but clambered onto the motorcycle behind him.

"Hang on tight," said Jace, and revved the engine. Soon, we were zooming along the darkening streets of New York with me clutching at Jace for dear life. The city rushed past, a blur of light and sound. Then we started slowing down, weaving in and out of traffic, and taking short cuts down alleys.

We stopped in front of a… boxing club?

"Um, Jace? Are you out of gas?" I asked nervously. He couldn't seriously be stopping here. I squinted at the sign hanging down in front of the building. It was called 'The Hairy Sumo'. "I think you've got the wrong address." Or at least, I thought in my head, I certainly hope so.

"No, no, this is right," he said, climbing off the motorcycle. "Come on."

I looked at the building, apprehension all over my face. "It's ok, Your Royal Majesty. I'll protect you."

"Stop calling me that!" I said, but I got off the motorcycle. I followed him across the street, hurrying to keep up with his long strides. "Anyways, I thought we were getting food."

"We are getting food," replied Jace.

"What kind of food?" I asked, still staring at the sign. "Sumo wrestler chest hair served with a side of crème de belly flab?"

"Of course not," he answered. "Although I've heard it's quite good."

We were rapidly approaching the building, which was a low-slung red building with a faded green door and blacked-out windows. The front of the building was covered with posters of famous boxers and sumo wrestlers, and various advertisements for stuff. What wasn't taken up with paper was occupied by graffiti.

Jace pushed open the door. "Welcome to The Hairy Sumo."

What hit me first was the noise. Men yelling encouragement and swear words, pounding music, people taking bets, fighting, the announcer fighting to be heard above all of it. What hit me next was the smell: sweat, lots of sweat, BO and cheap cologne, alcohol, adrenaline, and excitement. And then, of course, the sight. People jostling for a position around a fenced in stage that was in the center of the room, pumping their arms with excitement, and when they weren't jumping up and down, they were drinking or eating. The ground was covered in gum and dirt, and the walls were a depressing shade of gray. Lights flickered from above, mainly focused on the two people fighting in the ring below.

The two people fighting. If you were expecting Sumo wrestlers, then you'd be sorely disappointed. The two people fighting were lean and muscular (and topless), tattoos stringing down their arms and hands covered with bulky red boxing gloves. One man had the other one pinned down in one corner of the ring, slowly taking him out.

I unconsciously stepped closer to Jace. He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Relax. They're not as scary as they seem."

I wondered if he was referring to the boxers or the people surrounding the ring.

Jace led me over to the bar. "Two fish and chips," he said, handing over a five dollar bill.

"One second," said the man at the counter. He was a mammoth sized man, with a curly black beard and fierce looking eyebrows.

Jace caught me looking at him. "That's Charlie. He likes collecting unicorns."

"Oh, right," I said faintly. "Hey, I thought you got fish'n'chips in London, not New York."

"As it turns out," said Jace, relieving Charlie of the two servings of fish'n'chips, "you can buy fish'n'chips most places in the world, but especially here."

He gave me a rolled up newspaper filled with the dish in question. "Here."

I cautiously lifted a piece of fish to my mouth and took a bite. It was like heaven in the form of fried fish. The fish was crispy and hot, and melted in my mouth almost immediately; salty, crunchy, yummy. I took another bite.

Jace was watching me closely. "Is it good?"

All I could do was nod, because my mouth was stuffed with fish. The fries were equally as good, and I ate it so fast I burned my tongue. It was probably one of the best meals I had ever had. Jace watched me with an amused expression on his face.

I coughed awkwardly, and wiped my hands on the more grease-free side of the newspaper. "So… do you come here often?" I asked.

He said, "Sometimes. When I need to unwind, or I need a good meal." He stared out over the roaring crowd. "It's a good distraction, you know?"

"I know," I said, as someone from the crowd passed forward a cactus to give to one of the boxers. "Um, isn't it usually a _chair_ that's given to boxers? And not a… cactus?"

He laughed. "The Hairy Sumo is a bit of an unorthodox boxing club."

"I can see that," I said, watching wide-eyed as some poor man got beat up with a cactus.

I turned to Jace. "I've gathered that Mayrse and Robert aren't your real parents."

"No…" he said, still staring off into space.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I added hastily.

Jace didn't sound angry, just final, when he said, "I do mind. I might tell you some day, but not right now."

"Oh, ok. That's fine." I stared at the fighters, too. "How long have you been at the Institute?" I glanced up. "I'm sorry. I'm being rude, aren't I? I'll be quiet now."

"No, that's quite ok. I've been at the Institute since I was nine. Alec was the first friend I ever had."

"Really?" I asked, astonished. "Wow. That's… pretty late for your first friend."

"Yeah."

We watched as the cactus was replaced with a pair of salad tongs.

"What do you think you are?" Jace asked. "I personally think that you're a Shadowhunter, but…"

"I don't know what to believe anymore," I said. "Besides, I don't know nearly enough about your world yet. I want to believe that my past is normal and that my mom is normal, but it's starting to look less and less like it. Magnus said that he would run some tests on me tomorrow."

"Well, at least at the end of the day, you'll still be Clary," said Jace (surprisingly) philosophically.

Jace looked over at me. "Do you want to get closer? Believe it or not, it can actually be quite fun."

"Sure. Why not."

Jace bought a giant bucket of peanuts, and told me that they were as much for throwing as they were for eating. We got right up close to the ring where the boxers were fighting, yelling at them and throwing peanuts. It was actually quite good fun, especially once you got on the adrenaline rush. The noise and the fighting drowned out anything else I might have been thinking about, and I suddenly found myself sucked into the world of the fight. Half an hour later, I found myself jumping up and down and swearing like a sailor at one of the contestants. Trust me, I would not normally do this.

Sometime around our third bucket of peanuts, Jace tapped my shoulder. "Do you want to get going? It's good to get some fresh air."

"That," I panted, exhausted from jumping up and down, "sounds like an excellent idea."

"You were actually getting pretty into it," commented Jace, an eyebrow raised.

"I don't know what came over me!" I said. "Were those peanuts alcoholic or something?"

"Not as far as I know," said Jace lightly. He pushed the door open and held it there for me.

"Thanks," I said as I passed by. I crossed the street and hopped onto the motorcycle again. "Where are we going this time?"

"It's a secret," he said, and winked, just like before.

"Are we going to another boxing club? Wait, let me guess. The Putrid Wrestler? The Filthy Fighter?"

"I was more thinking the park, but if you want to go to another boxing club, I know several other good ones."

"Oh, no," I said. "The park sounds rather lovely right now."

"Then the park it is, Your Grace."

"Stop calling me that!" I said, but my words were whipped away by the wind as we sped down the street.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Here we are." Jace cut the engine and then helped me off the motorcycle. I looked around. It was beautiful. The park was filled with weeping willows and flowers, the ground carpeted with lush green grass, and I saw a stream in the distance that was covered with a small bridge. "It's beautiful," I said.

"I know. It's really hard to find places like this in New York."

I ran off onto the grass and took off my shoes. The grass squished pleasantly in between my toes. I laid down on the ground and looked at the stars above, a tangled web of silver over a blanket of the darkest midnight.

Someone laid down next to me. Jace. He was awfully close now.

"So," I said, still looking at the stars. "What's the deal with Shadowhunters? A person needed help against the demons and so an Angel came out of the sky and gave him a cup?"

"More or less."

"But what made him special? Why did the Angel help him of all people? And why a cup? I mean, wouldn't some sort of magical weapon be better?"

"To be honest, I have no idea. Shadowhunters are still asking questions about their past that they don't know the answer to." He gazed thoughtfully at the sky above. "Isn't this where I'm supposed to point out the constellations to you?"

"I think so," I agreed.

"Well, crap. I don't know any of the constellations."

"That's ok. I don't know any constellations either."

He turned to face me. "Oh, well. You can still appreciate the stars for their beauty, even if you don't know what they are."

I faced him, too. We were very, very close now.

"I think you're supposed to kiss me now," I whispered.

"Well, it's a good thing I _do_ know how to do that, then," he replied, and leaned forward. His lips were very soft, and I responded immediately. He tasted faintly of salt, from the fish'n'chips, and he smelled like honey. I deepened the kiss, pressing forward more.

I lifted my arms above his head, and Jace wrapped his arms around my waist. His hair was just as soft as I thought it would be, and I tangled my fingers into it as our mouths moved against one another. Eventually, however, I needed oxygen. We parted and faced each other, breathing rather more heavily than usual. He looked gorgeous, hair mixing in with the green grass, eyes a bright golden, and his skin shimmering from the light of the moon.

I smiled. "This has been one of my best birthdays ever," I said.

"I'm glad," he said, and leaned forward so that our foreheads were touching. We were about to kiss again when I heard someone call my name. "Clary?"

I sat up, confused. And then I saw who it was. "Simon!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: As you may have noticed, I included the unicorn-collecting guy from "Tangled". I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. Also, you may have noticed that this chapter is a fraction more serious than previous chapters. Let me know if you like the more serious chapters or um… less serious chapters. Simon is here now! I'm debating whether to make him a competitive love interest or just a friend. Let me know what you think! Reviews are love. Love, HoneydukesFan._


	9. Simon!

To say I was shocked was an understatement. What was Simon doing here?

I stood up shakily, still slightly weak-kneed from Jace's kiss. "Simon, what are you doing here?"

"My Aunt Majorie lives across the street, remember? I was forced to go and visit her by my mother. I only just escaped…."

I wrinkled my nose. "Is she the one who forced me to eat all those tuna sandwiches because she thought it good for brain function?"

"Unfortunately, yes. So, going back to the most important question… _where have you been for the past few days_?"

Right then, I realized how much I had missed Simon, and how homesick I was for someone normal. "Oh, Simon!" I said, and ran forward to give him a hug. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me," he said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"…but then Magnus cleaned it up so it's all ok. And then Jace took me to a boxing club for my birthday."

I smiled at Jace, who didn't smile back. He had been acting really weird since I had introduced Simon and Jace.

"So demons and crap are real?" asked Simon after several minutes of thinking.

"Yeah."

"That is so cool!" said Simon excitedly. "Are dragons real, too?"

"Don't be silly. They were hunted into extinction years ago," retorted Jace.

"Oh," said Simon disappointedly.

"So do you believe me?" I asked Simon.

"I guess so. If you believe that these things are real, then I think so, too," he said with conviction.

"Aw, well isn't that adorable," said Jace with a nastily sweet voice.

Simon ignored him. "Although, Clary, I should tell you that your mom and Luke are returning early from their trip."

"What? But they said that they were going to spend three weeks in California!"

"Yes, but Luke got an emergency call from his work, and they have to fly in tomorrow. They'll arrive at the apartment at 5:00 pm. Jocelyn called me yesterday, because she couldn't reach your cell phone."

"Yeah, it's still in the grocery store," I said.

Jace interrupted. "Look, this had all been very touching, but we really need to be going, ok?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said, realizing that it was probably midnight at least. "It was so nice to see you again, Simon," I said, and gave him a hug.

"I'll come visit you at the Institute," promised Simon.

"No, you won't," said Jace. "You're a mundane."

"Jeez, dude, what is your problem? I just want to visit Clary."

"Yeah, well, you can't. Sorry."

"What are you, her dad?"

"What are _you_, her pet ferret?" he countered.

"Actually, I'm her best friend," said Simon through gritted teeth, his ears turning bright pink. I knew this was a very bad sign.

"I never said you weren't. I'm sure that a ferret would make a great best friend."

"Man, what is wrong with you?"

"Many things, but at least I deal with my problems with style."

"'With style' meaning you verbally attack a stranger for no apparent reason?"

"Occasionally, yes, although getting drunk or hitting up girls is also effective. What do you do, play World of Warcraft for a few hours? Because I'm telling you, it's not doing the trick."

Things were getting very ugly very fast. I decided to intervene before things completely spiraled out of control. I had no doubt that Jace could beat up Simon with his eyes closed, and that was definitely not what I wanted.

"Ok, ok, I don't know what's happening right now, but it needs to stop. Simon, it was great to see you, but I really think we need to be going." I smiled at Simon, and literally dragged Jace over to the motorcycle.

"What was that for?" I hissed at him, the moment Simon was out of hearing range.

"What was what?" asked Jace innocently.

"You were being a complete asshole back there!"

"Clary," he said quietly, "I think that it's best to mention that you have a boyfriend _before_ we start kissing."

I was stunned. "You think that Simon is my _boyfriend_?"

"You were awfully glad to see him," said Jace.

"Jace," I said, feeling like banging my head against something, "Simon is my best friend. Best. _Friend_. We've known each other since we were five, and have absolutely no romantic inclinations."

He looked unconvinced. I rolled my eyes, got on my tippy-toes, and kissed him full on the mouth. It was a passionate but short kiss, and when I pulled away my face was slightly flushed.

He considered, and looked down at me. "I'm not sure I believe you, still," he said slyly, hoping for another kiss.

"Oh, shut up," I said, my face burning. "Just get on the motorcycle, Prince Charming."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning dawned bright and early, especially for me. I had seen my best friend, I was dating an angel, and Isabelle was banned from the kitchen. The day was perfect, until I remembered that my mom and Luke were coming later this afternoon. (Dammit.)

Today I was dressed in a shorts and a black pullover. Cute and comfortable.

Starving, I walked down to the kitchen and was glad to see Jace sitting at the kitchen table, next to a bag of bagels. It was a close competition between the bagels and Jace as to which one I wanted to see first.

In the end, Jace won out. I glided over to him, mumbled a 'Morning', and kissed him gently. Of course, Isabelle walked in at that precise moment and gave a strangled shriek/squeal. I jerked back, surprised, but she said, "Oh, no, don't let me interrupt. I think it's adorable!"

Jace shrugged and pulled me closer, kissing me rather more fiercely than before.

"By the Angel, my eyes!"

We broke apart to see Alec staggering out of the kitchen as though his eyes were on fire.

"Sorry about him," said Isabelle. "It's a bit early in the morning."

I separated from Jace and snagged a bagel from the bag. I had just grabbed a plate and a knife when Jace leaned forwards toward me. "By any chance… would you like me to butter your muffin?"

"Oh, for God's sake, Jace," snapped Isabelle. "I seriously doubt she wants to go that far quite just yet."

I stared at my bagel, bewildered. "But it's not a muffin. It's a bagel."

Isabelle sighed and Jace snorted. "I'm going to take that as a 'no' then." He turned to Isabelle. "Besides, dearest sister, I was completely joking. Don't you have more faith in me?"

"I have as much faith in you as I have in Magnus and a giant pot of glitter. In other words, _none_."

"I heard that," said Magnus, who had suddenly appeared at the kitchen doorway. "Come, Clary, we've got to go and run some tests on that pretty little head of yours. I've set up shop in the main living room. If you can call it that—it's only slightly better than the Silent Brother's 'Zen room' in which I spent most of the fifteenth century."

"Don't let Mayrse hear you insulting her interior decorating skills," warned Isabelle.

Magnus said, "Don't worry. I know better than that." Then he looked at me. "Are you coming?"

I nodded and picked up my bagel, following Magnus out of the kitchen.

"Wait, I'm coming!" said Jace, scrambling off the kitchen chair.

Isabelle cut it. "No, you're not. Grandmother Lightwood is coming today."

Jace turned a weird puce sort of color, like rotten oatmeal. "You're kidding."

"I'm not," Isabelle sang, munching on a bagel of her own.

"Why are you so happy about it?" he asked suspiciously.

"Because I have serious business to attend to," she said smugly, "and, unfortunately, will not be able to join her for tea."

"What? I have serious business to attend to, too!"

"I doubt that."

"Oh yeah? You wanna bet?"

Magnus tapped my shoulder. "Let's escape while we have the chance."

I agreed vigorously and proceeded with Magnus up to the main living room. I asked, in a slightly nervous voice, "So, what tests are you going to run?"

"Well, I'm going to run a blood test first. Trace amounts of angel blood will show up if you're a Shadowhunter, and if you're a warlock, vampire, or werewolf, trace amounts of demon blood will show up."

"Wait, why would demon blood show up in a vampire or werewolf? It thought it was just a demon disease."

"Because the blood cells are infected with the demonic disease, the blood shows up as demonic. Usually, it's hard to tell the difference between the blood from a demon or somebody who's infected with a demonic disease."

"Oh," I said, as we approached the living room. That was actually kind of interesting.

We entered the living room, where there was a machine beeping loudly next to a squishy red arm chair. "Please, be seated," said Magnus, flourishing dramatically towards the seat.

I sat.

Magnus pulled out a needle. Trying to distract myself from the needle, I asked him another question. "So, what does this machine do?"

"Oh, that? It's a regular blood-type scanner that I… made a few changes to. Much more useful."

I swallowed as he poised the needle above my arm. "Shouldn't you, like, wipe my arm with a sanitized wipe or something first?"

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Sanitation is _totally_ overrated."

"Right…"

I looked away as Magnus lowered the needle and took a needle-full of blood.

"So, if one of my parents was a Shadowhunter, my blood would show up as angel, right? It would mean that… That one of my parents wasn't normal?"

"Correct," he said, handing me a sparkly silver band-aid. "Speaking of which, how _is_ Jocelyn doing?"

"She's doing fine, I guess. She and Luke are returning from California today."

Then it hit me. "Magnus, how do you know my mom's name?"

He blinked innocently at me. "I know your mom's name?"

"_Magnus_."

"Oh, alright. She might, possibly, perhaps, have been a past client of mine."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(A/N: This is from Jace's point of view!)**

Grandmother Lightwood was feared greatly among the Lightwood clan. She had survived until her great age, 76, and considering that many Shadowhunters didn't make it past their mid-twenties, this was really quite an achievement. And believe me, she let you know just what an achievement it was.

I dragged my feet towards the parlor, full of dread. Sure enough, I opened the door to find Alec hunched over in a chair, looking as though he was trying very hard to blend into the paisley background, and the fearsome Grandmother Lightwood herself, presiding over a tea tray and a plate of cucumber sandwiches.

One other relatively important fact about Grandmother Lightwood was that she was as deaf as a post. An explosion a few decades past (rogue warlocks) had destroyed most of her hearing, and old age and rambunctious grandchildren had taken the rest. However, she didn't let this get in her way of communicating with the outside world. She was still as opinionated and as decisive on topics as ever.

I put on a falsely cheery smile as I entered the room. "Grandmother Lightwood!"

"Jonathon Wayland," she responded, and I winced as she used my full name. "I was just telling Alexander here my opinion on Downworlders. When I was your age, Downworlders were treated like they were supposed to! Of course, the Accords were still in place, but there was none of this namby-pamby mingling that we do nowadays. Did you know that there are parties at which both Downworlders and Nephilim are present?"

"Really?" I said, more out of habit than anything else. It wasn't like she could hear me.

"Yes, and dear Matilda Beigewater actually ran off with a vampire. Imagine, dating a Downworlder!"

At this point, Alec was looking fairly miserable. He stared at his cucumber sandwich as if hoping it would leap off the plate and eat him, and so spare him the agony of listening to his grandmother for the next hour and a half.

To distract Alec and myself, and to lighten the mood a little, I decided to resort to one of my favorite pastimes when drinking tea with Grandmother Lightwood. Counting on her lack of hearing, I picked up a strawberry from a bowl of fruit and held it aloft.

"I find this strawberry rather sexy, don't you?"

Alec snorted into his tea.

"I'm sorry dearest, what was that?" she questioned.

"I _said_, 'I find this strawberry rather sexy.'" I repeated, louder this time.

"Speak up child, for goodness' sakes!"

"I FIND THIS STRAWBERRY RATHER SEXY!" I practically yelled, waving the strawberry about.

I heard a noise in the corner of the room. I turned around, to see Hodge standing in the open doorway. "Um… I don't know what's going on in here… I'll just leave then, shall I?"

He left quite hastily.

"Wait! Come back!" I called at him. "I can explain!"

Hodge didn't return.

"Yes, the weather in Spain _is_ rather nice this time of year, isn't it?" chimed in Grandmother Lightwood.

I could feel a headache coming on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N_ _I'm experimenting with Jace's POV a little. Should I stick to Clary's POV or mix it up? Simon will definitely be returning in the story, and I think that Grandmother Lightwood and Aunt Majorie might make a couple more entrances. Feel free to give feedback on this last chapter! Love, HoneydukesFan. (PS, I just watched _The Importance of Being Earnest _which is why cucumber sandwiches are mentioned. Although, Ernest really isn't earnest, and since his name isn't actually Ernest either, he isn't being earnest about being Ernest, and therefore isn't Ernest or earnest. Incidentally, the movie _The Importance of Being Earnest _has Colin Firth in it.)_


	10. A Fairly Horrible Morning

"What do you mean, 'She might have been a past client of mine', Magnus?"

"Just what it sounds like. She asked me to do a job once. Or twice. Actually, it was kind of a routine thing."

"But… but that means that she must have known what you are! And you must have known what she is!"

"Well, of course. She's one of the Nephilim." He looked as though this was the most obvious thing in the world.

I felt like banging my head on the table, or slapping Magnus, or both. I said in a would-be-calm voice, "And it didn't occur to you to come forward with this information _before_ you took my blood test? Or even when you first met me?"

"No. You didn't ask."

I took a deep breath. "Magnus, please get away from me before I throw this needle at you. I need some time to absorb this."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Jace's POV)**

"…and you wouldn't believe how much skill, dexterity, and intelligence it took to get through that battle. Survival of the fittest, that's what I always say. And it worked for me, didn't it? Look at me! 76 years old, and still chugging along."

Grandmother Lightwood's stories had reduced us to little more than drunken stupors. There was no point in interrupting her, because she couldn't hear you, and I don't think she would have stopped in any case. Alec was in great danger of falling asleep, eyes glazed over, nodding off into his palm. I couldn't believe that we were having tea with our grandmother while a Greater Demon was on the loose. The Clave had declared a minor state of emergency, for Christ's sake!

"And would you just look at the clothes young girls wear nowadays! Disgraceful. Isabelle, for example, wearing those tiny little skirts. Well, it's just not proper."

I had started to tune her out when she barked, "Alexander! Posture!"

Alec bolted straight up, said something about werewolf cross-dressers, and promptly fell over backwards in his chair.

He struggled up with a dazed look on his face. "Wha…?"

"You were just telling us about your secret double life as a cross-dresser," I informed him. "Please, continue. It was just getting interesting."

"What are you talking about, Jace?"

I was about to reply when I was cut off by Grandmother Lightwood. "Strawberries, my dear?" she asked, brandishing the bowl of fruit under my nose.

"No thanks," I replied, wrinkling my nose. "I've gone off strawberries at the moment."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Clary's POV)**

I had cornered Magnus in one corner of the living room, waving a golden candelabra threateningly. "Magnus, why can't you tell me what you did for my mom?"

"Customer confidentiality! I'm sorry, but I signed a contract!"

"I'm her daughter! I deserve to know."

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you."

"Fine. At least tell me why she kept this world a secret from me. Or why she's no longer a Shadowhunter."

"I don't know. I make it a point never to dig too deeply into client's histories. Ask her yourself."

I raised the candelabra in a menacing way.

"Alright! Alright. I think it had something to do with an arranged marriage, but that's really the extent of my knowledge."

I considered for a minute, examining the candelabra as I did so. "Ok. I guess I believe you. You _did_ save us from that rabid dumpling."

"That's right!" said Magnus.

I stuck out my hand for Magnus to shake. "No hard feelings?"

He glanced nervously at the candelabra. "Why don't you put down the candelabra, and then I'll shake your hand."

I set down the candelabra on a nearby table and shook Magnus's hand. "Right then," he said cheerfully. "Now that that's over, I think I'm going to pop out for a drink."

I watched him leave, then turned around and walked out of the living room. I couldn't believe it. I was a Shadowhunter! Or, at least, I had the potential to be a Shadowhunter.

I walked up to my room to have some quiet time and clear my mind a little bit. I picked my sketchbook off the bed and thought about what I would draw. Eventually, I decided to draw angels falling from the sky, ropes pulling them down by their wings or legs, and being imprisoned in cruel metal cages. I stared at the drawing. Where had that come from?

I was still looking at the drawing, thinking of possible reasons that this particular image had come to me, when Church the cat walked into my room.

"Aww, hello!" I cooed at him. "Aren't you cute?"

He mewed mournfully at me. He walked over to my bag, sniffing at it curiously, and then hopped into it.

"You're just adorable!" I baby-talked to him. I watched as he pawed through my stuff, smelling this, meowing at that. Eventually, he pulled out one piece of clothing in particular. It took me a second to recognize the pink, rather frilly article of dress.

It was the only pair of underwear I had that was remotely lacy/see-through, and therefore the only pair of underwear that had the potential to be embarrassing. My mother, of all people, had forced me to get it at a Victoria Secret sale, and I must have grabbed it by accident when I packed for the Institute. I never actually wore it; it was the kind of thing that inhabited the darkest corner of my underwear drawer, hopefully never to be discovered.

And yet, Church the cat was now holding it in his mouth, staring up at me with an angelic expression.

"What are you doing, pretty kitty?"

He pranced towards the door, the underwear still clamped in his mouth. "Wait, where are you going?"

He was out the door before I had time to get out of bed.

"Get back here, you perverted cat!" I shrieked, all baby talk forgotten.

I scrambled out of bed as fast as physically possible, bolting out of my room. It was like my worst nightmare. What if someone found that cat and the underwear and realized that the lacy, pink piece of lingerie actually belonged to me? I wouldn't be able to make eye contact for weeks.

I chased after the cat, following the bushy grey tail and cooing a continuous stream of, "Come here, you sweet cat. Come here, and give that to Clary. No, no, don't run away!"

Church slowed down and looked behind him. "That's it," I said. "Come here."

I took a step closer. And another one. And another one. I was so close now. I reached forward…

…and Church bolted, leaving me to fall on my face.

"Come back here, you stupid cat!" I yelled.

I sprinted after him, racing down hallways, ducking under furniture and dodging lights. Once I managed to seize Church, but he lashed out with his claws, leaving long red parallel scratch marks down my arm. He used this as another opportunity to escape.

I was feeling distinctly out of breath when we neared the sound of voices. Oh, no. I heard an elderly person's voice, and then Jace's voice. Oh, no no no no no NO.

Jace was the absolute last person I wanted to see right now. If he saw what Church was carrying…

Unfortunately, Church made a beeline for the voices. He slid through a crack in the door where the voices were coming from, with me a step behind him.

Jace, Alec, and who I guessed was Grandmother Lightwood all looked at me.

Quick! How could I distract them?

"Um… um… OMG! LOOK AT THAT GIANT FLYING HIPPOPOTAMUS!"

They turned around in confusion, and I pounced on Church. Yowling, he struggled in my arms, but this time I wasn't letting go. I ripped the unmentionable piece of clothing from his mouth and stuffed it into my pocket.

Jace turned around to look at me. "What giant flying hippopotamus?"

"Oh, you must have just missed it," I said, wiping sweat from my forehead.

He frowned. "Hey, wasn't Church carrying something in his mouth?"

"What? No, no, he wasn't. You must have imagined it," I giggled nervously.

"Funny."

"Well, it was so nice to meet you all!" I said, backing out. "Have a lovely day."

Just before I left, I heard Grandmother Lightwood say, "Isn't that Carrot Girl? Elderly Mr. Beigewater was telling me all about her. Ran into a Clave meeting or something…"

My face was in serious danger of catching fire, I was blushing so hard.

I needed something sweet and caffeinated or something with a lot of carbs. My day, so far, I had not been going very well. I proceeded down to the kitchen where I discovered a container of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer. Perfect.

After locating my comfort food, I decided that I needed to burn that unspeakable piece of clothing so that it would never haunt me again. For some unexplainable reason, I found a blowtorch under the sink. At this point I wasn't going to ask too many questions.

Placing the underwear in a giant metal bowl, I blowtorched it until all was left was a pile of smoking ashes. Then I collapsed into a chair and started devouring my ice cream.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Jace's POV)**

After suffering through hours of conversation with Grandmother Lightwood and several cups of over-brewed tea, I went down to the kitchen to see if I could find Clary. She was halfway through a pint of Cherry Garcia, and was sitting next to a pile of faintly smoking bits of charcoal. She looked up. "Don't ask."

"Right then."

There was a pause as Clary continued to aggressively attack her ice cream. "So, not a very good day?" I asked.

"You could say that. Magnus tested me this morning, and then it turned out he knew what I was the whole time and he never told me! Jace, he knows my mom. He knew she was a Shadowhunter and he never told me about it!"

"So you're a Shadowhunter?" I asked hopefully.

"Yep," she said. "Although this still doesn't explain why she never told me about this world. Oh, and then after the testing, Church…" She blushed. "Well, it doesn't matter what Church did, but let's just say it added to my misery."

"Does it have something to do with those ashes over there?" I asked, pointing towards the bowl of ashes.

"Possibly," she said, consuming another monstrous bite of ice cream.

"Well, at least you're a Shadowhunter," I said.

She narrowed her eyes. "What's wrong with being a Downworlder?"

"Nothing! It's just that you can stay if you're a Shadowhunter."

"Oh, right," she said, her expression softening. Then she stood up abruptly, picking up the bowl of ashes. "I'm going to go bury these in the backyard. I'll be right back."

She left the kitchen, her flaming hair trailing behind her.

I waited for several minutes, amusing myself by counting the number of scorch marks on the ceiling. Surprisingly, we seemed to have quite a collection.

When she returned, the ashes were gone and there was dirt under her fingernails. "I buried them under the rose bush. Please, do me a favor, and never mention them again."

"Your wish is my command."

Clary asked, "How did tea with Grandmother Lightwood go?"

"Don't remind me. It wasn't pleasant."

"You had a bad morning, too, huh?" she said sympathetically.

"Mmm-hhmm. Although I doubt your morning involved a misunderstanding about sexy strawberries. Hodge still isn't talking to me."

"I don't know. Mine had some pretty bad moments…" she said.

"Do you want to stop talking about this? It's making me depressed."

"Sure. So, what are we doing the rest of the day?" she asked conversationally.

"Well, at the Clave meeting yesterday, they agreed that we should scour the grocery store back rooms for any clues, and then search the surrounding area for any connections or future leads. The company has, of course, deserted the grocery store now that they've been busted and have now found a new location. It's our job to find out just where that location is."

"Sounds fun," she said. "When—"

She was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

"I'll get it," I said. I walked out of the kitchen with Clary following me, to see whoever had rung the doorbell of the Institute. We entered the foyer only to discover that Isabelle had already answered the door.

"Simon!" Clary said, pushing past me. Simon was staring at Isabelle as though hypnotized by her, and his mouth was slightly open. It wasn't a very attractive face.

"Umm… hi," he said, tearing his gaze away from Isabelle. "I just, just stopped by to say h-hi."

"Excellent!" said Isabelle, clapping her hands together. "Do you want to come demon hunting with us?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: …and so the chapter ends. In the next chapter, serious demon hunting will take place, and will—probably—be slightly less (what's the word?) light-hearted. Feedback, as always, is greatly appreciated. Love, HoneydukesFan._


	11. Investigating

**(Simon's POV)**

"Go… _Demon_ hunting with you?" I asked, uncertain. Demons were all very well as long as they were a few miles away, at least. The _concept_ of demons was pretty awesome. Actually poking one with a sword, however…

"Don't worry," said Jace. "You can't actually go. You're a mundane."

"That's… unfortunate," I said.

"Well, why can't he?" asked Clary, rounding on Jace. "He can just tag along. It's not like he's going to do anything. Besides, all of the demons have cleared out of the grocery store. You said so yourself."

"Yes, but there _might_ be demons there. Or perhaps they booby-trapped the place."

"Oh yeah? Like what kind of booby traps?"

"You know… dangerous things… um, water balloons, or something," he finished rather lamely.

I however, wasn't paying attention to Clary and Jace's conversation. I was too busy staring at Isabelle, who was, I far as I was concerned, an angel. Or goddess. Or movie star. Or some other kind of inhuman, immortal being.

**(This is where Simon's POV ends; I know it's short, but the remainder of his POV would be spent ranting on about Isabelle, and I thought I would spare you all.)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Clary's POV)**

Finally, Jace agreed that Simon could come, and so we all piled into Isabelle's beat-up bug and Alec's and Jace's rental car. The ride to the grocery store was an uncomfortable affair, but we all made it out alive.

Right as we pulled up into SmartMart's parking lot, Alec asked, "Hey, where's Magnus? I thought he was going to come with us after he tested you."

"Oh, no, he left after I threatened him with a candelabra. He said he was going to get a drink."

"Really? Should we pick him up at one of the coffee shops?"

I thought back. "It didn't sound like he was getting coffee. It sounded like he was aiming for something a good deal stronger."

"Hmm," said Alec, looking thoughtful and a mite disappointed.

Jace broke in. "Ok, people, let's stay focused. We've got lock down this area and search for clues that might help us crack down on this Greater Demon. Got it?"

"Aye, aye, Captain," I said.

Jace looked offended. "I'm not a Captain! I'm a General."

"Right then, General Jace. Please, lead us into fearsome battle against the… erm, grocery store."

"That's the right attitude!"

We all followed Jace around to back, probably looking only a fraction less sketchy than an alleyway behind Walmart at midnight.

Upon reaching the back, it was discovered that the storage room doors were locked tight. There was no way to get into the back rooms, and the doors were made out of 2 inch-thick metal. Everyone looked at Jace. "What are we going to do now?" asked Isabelle.

"I have a plan," said Jace.

"Oh, good," said Isabelle. "What is it?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I know it's going to be fool-proof."

Silence. "Really, Jace? That's pathetic. I'm demoting you," said Isabelle.

"You can't demote me!"

"Oh, yeah? You're a supposed General, and you can't even come up with a good battle plan!"

"I have a battle plan!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes! I call it: Operation Ask One of the Employees for Admission to the Backrooms."

"OAOEAB?" questioned Simon, looking unsure. "That's an awful lot of vowels."

"You know, that might actually work," said Alec.

I listened to this whole conversation with a faint feeling of disbelief. "You mean it never actually occurred to you to ask in the first place?"

"Well, no," answered Jace. "I always break-and-enter if possible. Much more badass, and it enforces my Shadowhunter mojo."

"Your Shadowhunter mojo?" I repeated.

"Mmm," he said. "Really, Clary, if you're going to learn to be a proper Shadowhunter, you must learn our ways."

I was a little skeptical. "There was nothing in The Codex about Shadowhunter mojo."

"Yes, well, that one wasn't the newest edition, was it?"

He turned briskly to face everyone. "Look, people. Clary, Alec, and I are going to go to the front to ask one of the kind employees for entrance to the backrooms, and then we'll let you in. Then we can search for evidence of where the demons might be now."

Simon and Isabelle didn't seem to have any objections to this; on the contrary, Simon looked as though Christmas had come early.

As we walked around to the front of the building, I asked Jace, "So, what are we going to tell the employees?"

"I was thinking that we could say something along the lines of 'We never got our last paycheck, and therefore we have to come to either kick our bosses' ass from here to New Jersey, or retrieve the money'. I'm sure they'll be sympathetic. Things like this happen all the time in the mundane world, no?"

"Sure…"

We walked up to the front of the building. Just as we approached it, we saw an employee put up a sign in the front window: SMARTMART IS CLOSED FOR RECONSTRUCTION. SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE.

"Wait!" Jace called. He sprinted up to the front of the building and pounded on the glass. The employee, looking reluctant, opened the door.

"How may I help you?"

Jace beckoned Alec over, and after several minutes of 'persuading' the employee, they were allowed access into the grocery store.

I hurried over. "I thought you were going to tell him that you needed a paycheck, not threaten him with weapons."

"He didn't buy our story, so we used the fall-back option."

"Hmmm."

We had entered the grocery store. It was a complete mess. Aisles had been knocked down, food scattered everywhere, and empty cardboard boxes were littering the floor. Milk, juice, and other liquids leaked from smashed cartons, and the whole thing looked like a rabid elephant had come to visit.

"Did you guys do this?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yep. It does look a little better, though. Maybe they hired someone to clean up."

"Uhh," was all I managed.

It took us a while to get to the other side of the grocery store—it was like playing hopscotch, dodging spills and piles of food, hopping from one foot to the next. When we finally did, we opened the door that led to the back rooms and stepped inside.

The back storage rooms were filled with boxes upon boxes. Stacks of boxes towered above us, some on shelves, and some scattered about. Striding briskly along the passages made out of the boxes, Jace and Alec continued to unlock the giant metal cargo doors and heave them open. When they opened, Alec made a faintly strangled noise.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Did something happen to Simon or Isabelle?"

"You could say that," Jace said.

Worried, I took a step towards them.

"Um, no. I wouldn't come over. It's quite gruesome, really."

Ignoring him, I hurried over to where they were standing, only to discover Isabelle and Simon passionately making out.

"Oh," I said, uncertain of what really to do. "They seem to be having… um, fun."

"So," Jace said in a business-like tone, tearing his eyes away from the intertwined couple. "I think that we should ignore the lovebirds over there and continue to look for clues that might lead us to the Greater Demon."

"Sounds like a plan," I said.

"But… but what about that ferret that's making out with my sister?" said Alec indignantly.

"Alec. Think about it this way: it's not the _worst_ person Isabelle's ever made out with. Besides, if we tear them apart, Isabelle will be pissed, and I think you'll agree that a pissed Isabelle is not something we want. She won't help us at all if she's pissed," Jace pointed out, trying to argue reasonably with Alec.

"She's not helping much right now, either," Alec said, shooting Simon a dirty look. However, he seemed to be convinced by Jace's argument.

Jace flipped open something that looked like a cell phone. "What's that?" I asked.

"This is a sensor. It'll tell me if demons or demonic activity are near at hand." He glanced at the sensor. "So far, nothing. Let's check these boxes for opium or dried demon blood."

We split up and started searching boxes at random, pulling them down and checking their contents. At this current point in time, I had found bananas, nuts, chips, pretzels, cake mix, baked beans, and oranges. Aka, not illegal drugs or demon blood.

Jace and Alec hadn't found anything either. After a good hour of searching boxes—Isabelle and Simon eventually joined in—there was only one place left to check: the giant refrigerator in one corner of the room. When I say giant, I mean giant. This thing was definitely bigger than my bedroom, and probably bigger than my bedroom and living room combined. Jace called us over. "Ok, let's check out this giant fridge then, shall we? I mean, this _is_ where dead bodies are supposed to be kept," he chuckled.

After struggling with the lock for several minutes, he finally managed to open the fridge door. At first, I noticed how unusually warm it was for a refrigerator, and then I noticed the bodies stacked around the edge of the insulated room.

"Oh," said Jace. "Oh, {insert swear word of choice}."

I felt suddenly nauseous. Dead bodies were ok on TV or murder mysteries, but when it came down to it, I'm not sure I would be able to stomach examining them.

"Are they… Um…" I croaked.

Alec strode forward and checked someone's wrist. He breathed a sigh of relief. "They're not dead," he said.

"Then, what are they? Asleep? Knocked out?"

"They appear to be in coma of some sort," replied Alec. "Curious."

Overall, there were around fifty bodies. All appeared to be perfectly healthy, breathing regularly with no visible marks on them, except for the small factor of not waking up. No matter what we did, they obstinately refused to wake up.

The only other weird thing was the very thin film of white powder that showed up in patches on the floor. Alec took a sample of it for Magnus to examine.

"Is the powder dried demon blood?" I asked Jace.

"No," he said. "Demon blood is black. This is silvery. I have no idea what it is. It's not opium either." He sighed. "We'll have to get Mayrse to come around later and pick up all of these people with a truck. We can take them back to the Institute."

"All of them have to go to the Institute?"

"Yeah, well, chances are a mundane hospital won't be able to treat them. It's probably a demonic condition."

"What are we going to do now?" I asked.

"Now? We'll probably go back to the Institute for dinner."

"Oh, right," I said. Then: "Holy fu(dge)! My mom and Luke are returning to the apartment at five! Quick! What time is it?"

"5:10," said Jace grimly.

"Crap. We have about thirty minutes before my mom calls the police to file a missing persons report. She probably thinks I've been kidnapped or something. Which," I said, reconsidering, "I technically have."

"Right. We can go right now, if you want. We can use my car."

"Really? Great," I said, grabbing Jace's hand. "Let's go!"

"You know, I didn't think I'd been meeting your parents quite this soon," Jace grumbled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: And the plot thickens! So, there was a sufficient lack of epic demon vs. Shadowhunter battle—this was more just investigating. Epic battles will (probably) ensue sometime in the future. Reviews are amazing. Love, HoneydukesFan._


	12. Mom and Luke

**(Clary's POV)**

In the end, we all went to my parent's apartment. At first, just Jace and I were going to go, but then I thought it would be a good idea to have Simon there—for moral support, and also because I thought it would be good for my parents to see a familiar face. Isabelle really wanted to meet my parents. Quite why was beyond me, but that was Isabelle for you. Alec ended up coming because he didn't want to be the only one _not_ going.

And so now we were all trudging up my apartment's staircase, to ask my parents why she never told me the truth. Well, I suppose I would be the one doing the asking. The rest were just along for the entertainment.

With each step that took me towards my apartment door, I was feeling more and more apprehensive. What would I say? Would Jocelyn be angry at me? I didn't see why. If anything, I was the one who should be angry. How would she react to Isabelle? To _Jace_?

Then we reached my apartment. Facing the ensemble of people behind me, I said, "I think it's best if I talk to my parents first. Then I can introduce you guys, ok?"

There was a round of agreements and some nodding of heads. Nervously, I knocked on the peeling green door. Alec, Simon, Isabelle, and Jace scrambled back down the stairs so my mother wouldn't see them.

After some rattling of the door handle, the door swung open and I was looking at my mother. "Clary!" she said, enveloping me in a hug. "I was worried. Where were you?"

"Oh, you know," I said. "Just out getting groceries."

"You don't have any groceries," noticed Jocelyn.

"SmartMart is under construction," I said. "Some sort of rabid elephant or terrorists damaged the place. Hence, no groceries."

I thought I heard a cough echo from the stairway, but I must have imagined it.

"Well, anyways, it's so nice to see you again! I've missed you so much."

I stepped into the apartment, where I saw Luke struggling under two ginormous suitcases. "Clary!" he huffed.

"Luke!" I said, and ran forwards to give him a hug. "How was California?"

"Great! Jocelyn and I had an amazing time. Surfing down in Santa Cruz, and we actually traveled to Hollywood to go sight-seeing. The Monterey Bay Aquarium was so cool—I saw a jellyfish bigger than my head."

"That's great! I'm glad you had such a nice time."

At this point, my hands were twisting in my lap, uncertain how to spit out what I was trying to say.

"So… while you were gone… I…"

"What's wrong, honey?" asked Jocelyn with concern.

"Well, I met this group of people," I started, "at the grocery store."

Luke cut in, "You're not part of a gang, are you?"

"No! No, I'm not." I took a deep breath. I looked at my mother. "I met this man who knows that you are—or at least used to be—a Sh—"

I was interrupted by the door flying open. Isabelle ran in, giggling and holding something above her head.

"Isabelle! Give it back! That's not funny!" shouted Jace, running in after her.

"Admit it! Admit you're not a General!" she called over her shoulder.

"Never!" said Jace.

"Then you're not going to get your Seraph blades back!"

My head was in my hands, and I was trying very, very hard not to lose my temper. Jocelyn and Luke were staring open-mouthed at Jace and Isabelle, who were now dancing around the coffee table.

"If you don't give them back, Izzy, then I'll make you give them back!"

"Oh, really? I'd like to see you try." So saying, she pulled a long, golden whip from—well, she now had a golden whip.

"Who—who are these people?" asked Jocelyn faintly.

"These are the grocery store terrorists," I said through gritted teeth. "Who were _supposed_ to be hiding in the stairwell."

Alec and Simon calmly strode through the open door, glancing at Isabelle and Jace with indifference. "I was going to wait in the stairwell until you told us to come out, but I didn't see much point anymore," said Alec. He reached Jocelyn and Luke. "Hi, I'm Alexander Lightwood. It's a pleasure to meet you." He stuck out his hand.

Mom shook his hand. "Lightwood, did you say?" She looked very pale.

"That's correct. And over there is my sister, Isabelle Lightwood, and my adopted brother, Jace Wayland."

Luke shook Alec's hand with a grim expression on his face.

Jocelyn looked over Alec's shoulder. "Simon!" she said.

"Yep, it's me," he said. "It's nice to see you again, Ms. Fray."

"Likewise," she said, but she looked a bit shell-shocked.

"Mom," I said. "These people—minus Simon—are all Shadowhunters. And I know that you were Shadowhunter once, and I know that I am a Shadowhunter, too."

"How did you find out?" she whispered.

"Well, first Jace and Alec kidnapped me and took me to the Institute to tell me what I really am. And then I met this warlock called Magnus Bane who knew what you are…"

"That mother ***** bastard," she said. Then she sighed. "I was going to tell you when you got older, but then it never seemed like the right time, and I didn't want to drag you into this world. It's dangerous."

"But this is a part of me!" I said. "I thought I had been going insane for weeks! I kept seeing faeries and demons, and I thought I was hallucinating. I deserve to know what I am, especially when I'm sixteen. Sixteen, mom!"

"I know, I know." Luke put an arm around her. "I suppose you want to know why I'm no longer a Shadowhunter, and why I kept this world a secret from you."

"That would be greatly appreciated," I said stiffly.

"Well, it started about twenty years ago…" Suddenly, she noticed that Jace, Isabelle, Alec, and Simon had settled down, and were all sitting down and listening intently to her story.

"What is this, circle time? This is a private story!" said Jocelyn.

Alec clapped his hands together. "You heard the woman. Let's go play in the hallway, kids."

"But I wanna hear the story!" said Isabelle.

"No, this is a private story, Isabelle. Come on."

Reluctantly, Jace, Alec, Isabelle, and Simon filed out into the hallway, shutting the door behind them.

"Where was I?" asked Jocelyn.

"'Twenty years ago…'" I quoted.

"Oh, right. Well, roughly twenty years ago—more like nineteen, or eighteen. In any case, around this time, my parents arranged a marriage for me. It's not unusual in Shadowhunter families, especially in the older and more prestigious families. I was engaged to a man who was five years older than me, and I was set to marry him in a year. However, in this year I met a man: Valentine Morgenstern. We fell madly in love, and planned to run away together. We did it, too. We ran away four days before the wedding."

"Where to?" I asked. I had no idea my mom was such a romantic.

"Paris, the love capitol of the world. A couple months later, I found out I was pregnant with you. Things couldn't be better. However…" She hesitated. Luke gave her arm a little squeeze, and she smiled gratefully at him. "However, six months pregnant with you, Valentine started coming home later and later. I didn't know why. I thought he might have been cheating on me or something, so one night I followed him. He went into this huge abandoned warehouse, and when I followed him inside, I saw that the inside was filled with Downworlders. Werewolves, vampires, faeries, and warlocks all chained to the wall and were being tortured. It was awful. Absolutely terrible…" She shuddered. "I didn't know what to do at first; I was confused. Once I saw what Valentine was doing, I ran home to calm down. Valentine came home and found me waiting for him on the balcony. I told him I knew what he was doing, and that I couldn't be with him if he was doing this. We started arguing, and it got a little heated. I didn't mean to, but I shoved him, hard, and… and he fell over the edge. We were six stories up. He didn't survive."

She was crying now, big fat tears sliding down her face. "I still feel guilty, to this day. Valentine turned out to be a monster—he deserved to die. But once you start loving someone, it's hard to stop. I would never have pushed him on purpose, even though he was a terrible person. I freed the Downworlders, and then two months after I gave birth to you, Luke found me. He had been my best friend growing up, and he still is my best friend. I told him that I needed to start over, and that I needed a new beginning. He agreed to run away to America with me, and… here we are now."

I took a couple minutes to soak in my mom's story. "I'm sorry that all this happened to you, and that your true love turned out to be a torturer, but that doesn't mean that you should lie to me my whole life!"

"Clary, I wanted to protect you! I couldn't deal with this world any more. I knew that this world could tear you apart the same way it tore me apart."

"Ah! There it is. 'I couldn't deal with this world anymore.' _You_ were the one that didn't want anything to do with this world. It wasn't about me. You didn't want to dig up old memories. You didn't do it to protect me! You did it to escape your past!"

"Clary," cut in Luke. "Your mom only had your best interests at heart. Believe me."

"I'm not sure I can anymore," I said coldly. Then something struck me. "If you really wanted to escape this world, why did you keep in touch with Magnus Bane? He said that you had him do a couple jobs."

Jocelyn opened her mouth, hesitated, and then closed it again. "I… uh… Well, I had him modify your Sight. Every year, I would bring you to him and he would change your Sight so that you weren't able to see demons or Downworlders."

"You had a warlock mess with my head? I don't believe this!" I shrieked. Tears were streaming down my face. I couldn't believe that my mom would do that to me, to 'protect' me from a world that I belonged to.

"Clary…" Luke said, and tried to give me a hug.

"No!" I said, stumbling backwards. "I've heard enough. I'm leaving."

I practically bolted out of the living room, slightly tipsy from the tears, and burst through the front door. Madly mopping up my face, I said to Jace, Isabelle, Alec, and Simon, in a trying-to-be-steady voice, "Let's go."

"Oh, Clary," said Isabelle softly.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said. I pushed past everybody and started half-jogging towards the cars. Distantly, I heard Isabelle telling everyone else to give me some space.

I jumped into the car and slammed the door shut. A couple minutes later, everyone else joined me. No one talked much the car ride back to the Institute. Somehow, I managed to keep it together the whole ride back.

The moment we got back, I ran up my room and sobbed into my pillow. Eventually, I realized that crying into my pillow wasn't achieving anything except for extra laundry, and I forced myself to get out of bed. I felt ashamed at myself for being so weak. Normally, I was the kind of girl who almost never cried. Ok, so I cried just a little when I was kidnapped by Jace and Alec, but that was because I thought I was going to die.

I washed my face in the sink and then climbed back into my bed. Sketching was my comfort zone, so I sketched for a while, thoughts and ideas flowing from my pen in the form of pictures. Every once and a while, I felt that ugly feeling rise up in my throat again like bile: betrayal. I felt betrayed by my mom, and a little bit by Luke, too. Betrayed that they didn't trust me to tell me about this new world, betrayed that they kept it a secret, betrayed by the fact that my mom payed someone to mess with my head.

After what I suppose was hours of sketching, someone knocked on my door. "Come in," I said.

Jace opened the door, standing slightly awkwardly on the threshold. He cleared his throat. "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better," I said, and smiled at him.

"Here, I brought this for you," he said. He handed me a cup of hot chocolate. "Don't worry, Isabelle didn't make it."

"Thanks," I said, and took a tentative sip. It wasn't the best hot chocolate I've ever had—it was slightly watery. But it was hot and full of sugar, and Jace had made it for me, so I thought it tasted delicious. I gulped it down, and then wiped my mouth on the back of my hand.

"If you're ready, we're having an impromptu meeting down in the library to discuss what we found today."

"That sounds good," I said. I got out of bed and gave Jace a hug. Between the hug and the hot chocolate, I was feeling substantially better. "Ok, let's go."

When we got to the library, Magnus, Alec, Simon, and Isabelle were seated around one of the tables in the library. "So, what's the deal?" asked Jace.

"So, far, I haven't got very much," said Magnus. "I've examined all of the bodies, and I don't know what to say. It's not a mundane disease, and it's not demonic in origin. They showed very faint traces of drugs, but the effects should have worn off by now. They're not knocked out by force—or at least, I can't find any marks. They're all completely healthy, as far as I can tell. It doesn't make any sense."

"Hmm," said Jace. "That's very odd. And you've never encountered this thing before?"

"Never," confirmed Magnus.

"What about the powder I found?"

"That's a conundrum, too. It's not a drug, or demon blood, or any kind of medicine, plant, or sediment. I've tested for everything."

Jace rubbed his face tiredly. "This is not good. What could it be? We're back to square one."

"What are we going to do tomorrow?" asked Isabelle.

"We'll probably search the surrounding area," said Jace. "Look for clues."

Magnus looked very thoughtful. "You know," he said slowly, "there was one thing I didn't test for."

"What?" asked Jace, but Magnus was already striding across the living room.

"I'll be right back," said Magnus.

We all talked about various things, mainly concerning the weather, Jace's status as General, and the mysterious unconscious bodies in the refrigerator. Everyone was very careful to avoid the subject of my parents.

All of a sudden, Magnus arrived in the library. "I was right. And this is very, very bad."

"What was it?"

"It was blood," said Magnus grimly, "but it wasn't demon blood. It was angel blood."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: And the plot thickens almost as fast as Isabelle's lasagna soup. Reviews are awesome! No, Jace's dad was not Valentine, and I am not going to make Clary and Jace brother and sister. Love, HoneydukesFan._


	13. Shakespearean Insults and Faerie Liquor

"But that's not possible," said Jace. "Angels aren't real."

Magnus snorted. "Well, tell that to the blood test, because it came up positive as angel blood. I have no idea where this company got their hands on dried angel blood, but that's what it is."

"But—but no one's even _seen_ an angel before. Well, I suppose the original Shadowhunter saw an angel, maybe, but we don't even have a way of confirming that. Where on Earth could these demons have got dried angel blood?"

"I told you," said Magnus. "I have absolutely no idea. This is the first time I've ever seen angel blood, apart from in Shadowhunters."

"So what does this mean?" I asked. "What would the demons use the blood for? And does it have anything to do with those unconscious people?"

Magnus looked even more tired than before. "Again, no idea. No one's ever encountered this before, and no one has ever studied the effects, seeing as actually finding an angel in the first place is quite a feat."

"Great. This sucks," said Alec. "Not only is a Greater Demon on the loose, but an incredibly powerful substance is being used by an illicit drug company."

Simon said, "What I'm most curious about is: If this is the angel blood, then where are the angels?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was midnight, or round about then. It was pitch-black in my room and I was starving. I had missed dinner because I was busy crying in my room over my mom and Luke. I didn't really want to get out of my room, but I couldn't sleep because my stomach insisted on growling every five seconds.

Finally, I couldn't stand it. Throwing on a thick pullover, I padded down the hallway and made my way down to the kitchen. As I approached the kitchen, I realized that there was a light on inside, and that someone else was having a midnight snack. Cautiously, I opened the door, to find Jace sitting at the kitchen table and staring intently at the refrigerator.

"Oh, hi," I said.

No response.

"Hello?"

Again, silence.

"Jace, can you hear me?"

"Shhh!" he said. "I'm concentrating."

I swiveled so that I was facing the fridge. Decorating the fridge were words on magnets, the kind you can arrange to form into sentences. These words mainly consisted of things like 'hypocrite' 'greasily' 'thee' 'slow-witted' and 'incarnadine'.

"What are you doing?" I asked Jace.

"Isabelle bought a box of Shakespearean insults on fridge magnets," said Jace. "I don't know why; sometimes Isabelle buys the most random things. So far, I've formed the insult: 'Corrupt as a pair of goat-eared buttocks that your little-witted tyrant shall give ridiculous love to.'"

I admired the insult on the fridge. "Creative. Graphic, but creative. Here, let's see if I can make one."

I dragged some words across the fridge until I had created the sentence: 'Degenerate serpent excrement whose marvelous trotting worm has a fellow swine who is you.'

"Hmm. Interesting, but too many animals."

"Oh, really? I'd like to see you do better."

"I accept your challenge, my lady," he said, and started rearranging the words on the fridge. Soon, he had: 'You fragment of pernicious substance.'

"Short and to the point," I noticed. "Still, it has a certain ring to it. I bet mine'll be better."

"Ha! I think not."

After thoughtful consideration, I ended up with: 'A surly monstrous braggart whose swagger shall smite thee puny cat.'

"Nice, but again, you somehow managed to throw animals into the mix."

This continued for quite a while, us coming up with more and more ludicrous insults, including one that involved 'masturbating' and 'kittens'. Somewhere along the line, I got a snack—animal crackers and milk—and we continued in our insult war. The fridge was soon covered with insults that even Shakespeare wouldn't have put in his plays, partly because of grammatical errors, and partly because of how absolutely disgusting some of them were.

Nearing 1:30 in the morning, our insult war came to an end because we ran out of words and imagination.

I leaned into Jace, exhausted. "So, do you wanna hear my mom's story?"

"Only if you want to tell it," replied Jace.

"I need to tell someone, if only to get it off my chest." I took a deep breath. "Well, about twenty years ago…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Man. That stinks," said Jace. I had just wrapped up my story.

"You think? My mom ran off with a person who turned out to be an insane torturer, and then she lied to me my whole life to 'protect' me. And then—I think this is the real cherry on top of the whole thing—she paid Magnus to mess with my memories so I wouldn't be able to see any part of the Shadow world."

"It'll be ok," said Jace, wrapping his arms around me. "At the end of the day, your mom still loves you, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said. "But I'm scared… half of me is evil-Downworlder torturer. What if I got the 'insane' gene from my dad?"

"You're not insane," stated Jace with a tone of finality. "Think about it this way: have you had any urges to stab Magnus?"

"Once," I admitted. "When he didn't tell me about my mom."

Jace rolled his eyes. "Apart from that. Any normal person would have wanted to stab Magnus then."

I slowly shook my head. "No…"

"Then I think you're safe. I'm sure that everything will work out between you and your parents."

"Actually, Luke isn't really my dad. I just call him my dad—I mean, him and mom are practically married anyways," I corrected him.

"That's great. You know, that Luke stuck around all those years. He must really love your mom."

It was probably just me, but Jace sounded a little sad when he said that, which was impossible. Jace just didn't get sad.

On a sudden impulse, I faced Jace and kissed him full on the mouth. He pulled me closer, cupping my face, and kissed me fiercely. It was electric. Jace was an amazing kisser, and I don't ever recalling wanting someone this badly. I twisted my hands in the fabric of his shirt, my eyes closed, and reveled in the feeling of his mouth on mine.

After an intense make-out session, Jace pulled away, his eyes a buttery golden color, and said, "I think it's getting late."

"I agree," I said, I swung my legs off the kitchen table.

"Allow me to escort you to bed, Your Royal Highness," he said, bowing and offering me his hand.

"Much obliged, Sir Wayland," I said.

Jace walked with me up to my room and, after another quick kiss, departed for his room. I opened my door and collapsed onto my bed, too tired to even change out of my clothes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I woke up later than I would have the following morning, due to the late night the night before. After washing my face and changing into fresh clothes, I hurried down to breakfast to find Alec and Isabelle arguing near the doorway and Jace making coffee.

"'Morning," Jace said brightly as I entered the room I had been in only six and a half hours previously.

"Good morning to you, too," I said chirpily.

He beckoned me over in a secretive manner. "Remember how Isabelle stole my Seraph blades yesterday, and how she demoted me from General?"

"I do remember, somehow."

"My revenge is coming into effect," he said with glee. "I spiked Isabelle's coffee with faerie liquor."

"Isn't that the coffee that Alec is holding right now?" I said with a frown.

Alec, stalking angrily over from the entryway, had grabbed the first coffee mug on the counter.

"Yes, that's Isabelle's coffee," said Jace, and then realized what he was saying. "Wait, Alec, don't drink that!"

It was too late, though. Alec had already taken a long swig of the coffee.

"Hey! Jace is right! That's _my_ coffee!" said Isabelle, and snatched the coffee from Alec's grip. She drained the rest of the coffee.

"Oh, dear," said Jace. "Well, at least my plan half-worked."

"Yes, let's look on the bright side," I said sarcastically. "What exactly does faerie liquor do, anyways?"

"It only takes a little bit of faerie liquor for a mortal to get extremely drunk. Their liquor is extremely potent. In addition, they're faeries, so you never know what they'll add to their drink. It tends to make mortals a bit… um, loopy. See Exhibit A before you," said Jace, pointing to Alec, who was staring at his hands.

"Strange," Alec was muttering. "I feel all… tingly."

"Just wait for it," said Jace, winking at me. "This is going to be good."

Alec had a very weird expression on his face: he was smiling hugely. I wasn't very used to seeing Alec smiling, so it was very disconcerting.

"I feel great!" said Alec. "Today is going to be so much fun."

"I bet it is," said Jace, patting Alec on the back.

Just then, Magnus walked in carrying a huge book embossed with gold lettering. "I found this book of Greater Demons. We can look up some of the demons with the characteristics you described."

"Magnus!" Alec cried joyfully.

"Yes…?" he said, worried by Alec's tone of voice. He had never heard Alec 'cry joyfully' before.

"I'm so sorry I'm being such a wimp. I'm gonna tell mom and dad soon, I promise." He scrunched up his face in concentration. "In fact, why don't I tell them right now!"

Magnus blinked. "I don't think right now is the time or pla—_umph_."

Magnus was cut off by Alec kissing him.

"Wow," said Jace, shocked. "I was not expecting that." He picked up a bottle of sparkling brown liquid, and started reading a long list off the back. "Oh, here we are. Making out with people _is _one of the side effects."

I examined the list of side effects, which took up a whole side of the bottle. "These are a lot of side effects," I said.

"Yep, and those are only the most probable side effects," said Jace airily.

Meanwhile, Isabelle was twirling around dreamily. "You know what sucks?" she asked.

"What?" I questioned.

"This kitchen. It's so drab and boring. I need to brighten it up or something, you know?"

"Um, sure," I replied.

Digging around in her purse, Isabelle pulled out a thick black marker. "I'm going to liven up this kitchen with my artistic talent," she said placidly.

Simon strolled into the kitchen and said, "Oh, hi. I just thought I would pop in to say hello." Then he noticed Magnus and Alec. "They seemed to be busy."

"Jace spiked Alec's and Isabelle's coffee with faerie liquor," I explained.

"Ah."

"Simon! I'm so glad you're here," gushed Isabelle, who had just noticed Simon. "I need someone to inspire my artwork." She spun around the room, and spotted the fridge. "Oh, Shakespeare! Perfect inspiration. Here, Simon, read some Shakespeare while I draw."

Simon approached the fridge. "Um, Isabelle, I don't think this is the Shakespeare you're looking for."

"Just read it," called Isabelle.

"Right. 'Pathetical over-wheening artificer is one stale monkey'," he recited. Turning to me, he said, "You know, I don't remember that _ever_ being in one of Shakespeare's plays."

"Isn't that romantic?" sighed Isabelle as she drew.

"Not really," muttered Jace.

Isabelle stepped back from her masterpiece. "Look! The epic tale of Romeo and Juliet in picture form."

We all looked at it.

Jace said, "Isabelle, I don't want to burst your bubble, but that's a stick figure in a toga and a pineapple."

"Well, yes. The man is Romeo and the pineapple is Juliet."

"May I ask _why_ Juliet is a pineapple?" I said tentatively.

"Because," said Isabelle dramatically, "Juliet is the sweet fruit that Romeo can never have." She was actually tearing up at this point, as though overcome with emotion.

"And why is Romeo wearing a toga?" inquired Jace.

"Why wouldn't he? That's what they wore back then, right?"

"Wrong century, honey," said Jace consolingly. "Mundane history was never your strong suit."

"Isn't it so sad, though?" Isabelle said to nobody in particular. "Romeo and the pineapple can never be together." She sniffled. "It's… It's just so depressing."

She buried her face into Simon's shoulder. "I want the pineapple and Romeo to be together!" she wailed. "Why can't they be together, Simon? Why?"

"I don't know," he said in a comforting voice. "It's one of the real tragedies in life." While she wasn't looking, Simon mouthed 'What did you put in her coffee?' at Jace.

Jace just shrugged deviously.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: To be continued! I'll try and update soon. Tell me what you think so far. Love, HoneydukesFan._


	14. Hallucinations and the Inquisitor

_A/N: It has recently come to my attention that 'SmartMart' is an on-line shopping program at Stanford University. If someone from Stanford is reading this, please don't sue me. All SmartMart rights belong to Stanford. Thanks! Also, feel free to review at the end of this chapter. Love, HoneydukesFan._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Clary's POV)**

Isabelle continued to sob into Simon, keeping up a continuous rant of the word 'pineapple', while Alec and Magnus were _still_ kissing. Jace stood next to the fridge, looking quite pleased at the mayhem he had caused. At least, until he slapped his forehead and said—well, let's just say that it wasn't 'whoopsy daisies'.

"The Inquisitor is dropping by to hear our report!" he said in a panicked voice.

"Ok. Go up and talk to him, then."

"Well, I would, but the Inquisitor wants to talk to _Alec_, seeing as he is the only one of age."

I looked over at Alec. "I think that might present a problem. Unless, of course, he wants to talk to Alec and Magnus at the same time."

Jace was running his hands through his hair distractedly. "What am I going to do? Um… Ok, I've got it."

Jace sprinted for the door, yanked it open and said to me, "Watch Alec and Isabelle and make sure that they don't leave the kitchen!"

"Wait, what are you going to do?" I called to him.

"I don't know yet, but I'll think of something!" he yelled, already taking the steps three at a time.

I surveyed the room, taking in a petrified Simon, a blubbering Isabelle, and an almost insensible Alec. Oh, and Magnus, who looked a little confused, but happy.

Suddenly, Isabelle bolted straight up and, looking at the ceiling, said, "Oooh, look at those stars!"

All I could see on the ceiling was what looked like a moldy pancake and several scorch marks. "Hey, Simon, pass me that bottle over there, would you?"

Simon passed me the bottle of faery brandy in a defeated sort of way.

I scanned the list of side-effects, and sure enough, 'hallucinating' was right behind 'writing poetry'. "Simon, Isabelle's hallucinating."

"_No?_ Really? I would never have guessed that, especially since she's talking about pineapples and Shakespeare."

"Actually, I think that might just be Isabelle being Isabelle. I think that _now_ she's hallucinating." I gestured towards Isabelle, who was lying on the floor and gazing at the ceiling. She squealed, "Oh, look at that shooting star!"

Alec, finally detaching from Magnus, came to join her. "Hey, you're right. I can see Orion's Belt!"

Isabelle giggled, "Yeah, and I can see that naughty constellation to his right trying to get inside Orion's Belt."

I raised an eyebrow at Simon, who was looking severely shaken. "How about a cup of tea?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Jace's POV)**

My plan was very simple: impersonate Alec. I checked the clock in the foyer. Five minutes until the Inquisitor arrived. To distract myself, I brainstormed possible scenarios of what would happen when Isabelle and Alec awoke from their faerie-liquor induced state. Scenario 1: Isabelle and Alec murder me and serve my head on a platter for dinner. Scenario 2: They drug me and then leave me strapped to the top of the Statue of Liberty- naked. Scenario 3: They forgive me completely, and buy me ice cream. Scenario 4: They super-glue me to a darts board and use me for weapons training (this would be Alec's idea—always the practical one, that one). So far, Scenario 3, unfortunately, was looking the least likely. I was just coming up with a possible Scenario 5 when the foyer doors burst open.

A buff, red-haired man with a beard that resembled an octopus entered the room.

"Alexander Lightwood, I presume?" he said in a sleek voice.

"Correct," I said. "And you must be Inquisitor Kennith Martin Ashborough."

He said, "Yes, I am. Funny, you don't look anything like your parents."

"Ah, well, my hair is usually black, but I died it blonde for a mission. You know undercover work these days," I said with false bravado.

"Quite," he said, his sharp black eyes taking me in appraisingly. He leaned closer, as though telling me a secret. "Do you know the punishment for lying to the High Inquisitor, Alexander Lightwood?"

I swallowed. "Yes. That's why I'm not lying."

"Excellent," he said with a syrupy-sweet smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Then we can continue with this debriefing in the library."

"I'm sorry," I said with a straight face, "but I'm not wearing briefs."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Clary's POV)**

The stars, apparently, had morphed into clouds, and Alec and Isabelle were cloud-watching. "Hey, that cloud looks like a pie!" said Alec slurred.

"Yeah, and that one looks like a ballerina!" said Isabelle in an equally slurred voice, staring at the moldy pancake on the ceiling.

Alec and Isabelle were staring around as though they had never seen the kitchen before. Flipping over onto his stomach, Alec looked at Magnus. "Whoa, dude, look! It's a glittering rainbow!"

Isabelle swiveled to observe what Alec had pointed out. "You're right, big bro of mine! You know—_hic—_what they say about—_hic—_rainbows, right?"

"Noooo…What do they say about rainbows?" asked Alec in a sing-song voice.

"If you catch 'em, then—_hic_—a leprechaun comes out and gives you—_hic_—gold."

"That is so totally awesome! Come, on let's get the rainbow!" Alec jumped to his feet, swayed for a second, and then fell on his face.

While Alec and Isabelle were busy hallucinating, Simon, Magnus, and I were having a cup of tea. The tea, which was brewing, sat in the middle of the table surrounded by plates of cookies that Magnus had summoned with a snap.

"So, you and Alec, huh?" I said to Magnus, munching on a snickerdoodle.

"Yeah. Alec wants to tell his parents, but he keeps chickening out. He doesn't think that they'll accept him."

"Really? But Mayrse and Robert seem like the kind of people who would be accepting and understanding."

"That's what I think, too, but I guess it's different when you're the one telling your parents."

Just then, Isabelle approached the table, dragging Alec by one arm and saying, "Alec! Come on, this is no time for swimming. We've gotta catch that rainbow!" in between laughing hysterically. She latched onto Magnus's arm and sang, "I've got a rainbow, I've got a rainbow…"

Alec, meanwhile, hugged Magnus's leg tightly, and called up to Isabelle, "When is the leprechaun going to come?"

"I—_hic_—dunno… Maybe I have to cut the rainbow up…" So saying, Isabelle pulled a Seraph blade out of her boot.

"Whoa, no pointy objects," said Simon, and plucked the blade out of Isabelle's hand.

Isabelle gasped. "Alec, I've found the leprechaun!" She rounded on Simon. "Leppy—it is ok if I call you 'Leppy', right?—you need to give us your—_hic_—gold **right** now."

"Um, sorry. My gold is in a Swiss vault at this moment."

She stared blankly ahead of her, probably trying to process the words 'Swiss' and 'vault'. Things could get a little complicated when you were drunk. Then she looked up and said, "Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids!"

"Um, excuse me?" said Simon, confused.

"Oh, no, wrong commercial?"

Simon patted her head and said, "Sure, Isabelle. Wrong commercial."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Jace's POV)**

"And you're _sure_ that the powder was angel blood?" inquired Inquisitor Ashborough.

"Positive," I assured.

"This is not good," he said. "I'll notify the surrounding Institutes in nearby states to keep on the lookout for suspicious activity." He sighed and rose from the plush, paisley chair. "Keep me posted if anything happens."

As he rose, I noticed a flash of gold on his wrist. I was no expert in watches, but that thing could easily cost thousands of dollars. Shadowhunters weren't really prone to accessories such as these, so it was a little odd.

"I'll be going now," said Inquisitor Ashborough. He strode briskly through the library and then out of the foyer without so much as a casual 'Bye.'

_Cold_, I thought.

However, he had seemed to buy the fact that I was Alec, at least for now. So, mission accomplished. Speaking of Alec, I really needed to check up on Alec and Isabelle. I had spiked that coffee pretty heavily.

Rushing out of the library and down several flights of stone steps, I barged into the kitchen to find…

…Alec and Isabelle break dancing in the middle of the kitchen?

"Wow, I must have put in more of that faery brandy than I realized," I said, impressed at the effects.

"Don't sound so happy about it!" snapped Magnus. "They spent the last half hour convinced I was a rainbow, and they ruined my new shirt."

"You weren't complaining so much earlier," I retorted. "Besides, I can't really blame them for thinking you were a rainbow."

Clary intervened. "How long do these effects last, anyways?"

"Absolutely no idea," I said, truthfully, for once in my life.

Clary said, "This is not good. They've already had compulsive making out sessions, hallucinated several times, and now they're breakdancing."

"Well, at least they haven't attempted a gymnastics competition," I pointed out.

"That's on the list of side-effects?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Several hours later—Clary's POV)**

"I did _what_?" said Alec, aghast.

"I told you. You made out with Magnus, then you hallucinated about the night sky and some rainbows, and then you break-danced," Jace informed him.

"Oh, no," said Alec, holding his head in his hands.

"It's ok. You were actually quite the break-dancer. You've been holding out on us, dude!"

"No, it's just—I didn't want you guys to find out about it like that…"

"Oh, that. No worries, we're totally cool with it."

"Really?" asked Alec, looking hopeful.

"Really," said Jace.

While all this was going on, Isabelle was fuming, her expression livid. "Jace Wayland! You are going to pay for this!" she shrieked. "I don't believe you!" She marched up to Jace and poked him in the chest, hard. "You know what? Since you can't be trusted to make coffee, _I'm_ going to make coffee from now on."

There was a chorus of, "Really, you don't have to"s from the surrounding crowd.

I chimed in, "Isabelle, please. Think rationally. Besides, even in your drunk state, you still managed to quote Shakespeare."

"I did?" said Isabelle, momentarily impressed.

"Yeah," said Simon, catching on. "You recited Romeo and Juliet to me. It was really romantic."

"Awww. Well, I guess that's kind of cute." She pointed a menacing finger at Jace. "Don't think this means that you're off the hook, buddy." Then she stormed out of the kitchen, saying something about changing her clothes.

"Should I tell her about the pineapple? Or even the leprechaun, for that matter?" Simon whispered to me.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her," I whispered back.


	15. Looking for a Greater Demon

**(Clary's POV)**

Alec and Isabelle had come to their senses again around lunch time, so when Mayrse came downstairs to tell us all something, she found us all peaceably eating lunch and not hallucinating. Apart from the fact that Alec was embarrassed and pissed, and Isabelle was just plain pissed, we looked pretty normal.

Mayrse cleared her throat importantly. "Alec, after your meeting with the Inquisitor today, the Inquisitor called me."

"My meeting with the Inquisitor?" repeated Alec blankly. Jace kicked him hard under the table. "Oh, right. _That_ meeting."

"In any case, he wants us to scout out the surrounding area to look for stuff. Perhaps in a five or six-block radius."

"But we already checked out the grocery store and the area immediately around it. I don't really see how going around New York City randomly is going to help us," pointed out Jace.

"Yes, but that's what the Inquisitor wanted. And if the Inquisitor wants you to dress up in a tutu and apply for American Idol, then you'll do that, too."

"How does my mom know what American Idol is?" whispered Isabelle next to me.

"Well, what do you suggest we do, then? Have me sit on top of a moving car, holding a Sensor, and just _hope_ that we pick something up?" said Jace sarcastically.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Jace's POV)**

"How are you doing up there?" called Simon through the sun roof.

"Oh, I'm doing just spiffily, thanks," I responded. My teeth were starting to chatter from the freezing wind that rushed by, and flies and pigeons kept flying into my face. I checked the Sensor that was clenched in my fist. Still no sign of demons. Instead, I tried to concentrate on staying on the roof of the car, which was no small feat.

In the end, we had agreed that my accidental plan was actually the best course of action. After a quick vote it was decided that I would be the one who would ride on the roof. Of course, Isabelle and Alec voted for me to sit on top of the car right away, and Simon voted for me, too, because Isabelle voted for me. Magnus didn't really care, as long as _he_ didn't have to ride on top of the car, and Clary was neutral. It looked like Alec's and Isabelle's revenge was just starting.

Before getting on top of the car, I had put on a Sticking rune, as well as an Invisibility rune and the other typical battle runes. In addition, I was tied to the car by a piece of rope that went around my waist, and I was holding on to two additional pieces of rope. Simon was driving, because I had deemed him to be the most responsible driver (I had put a lot of thought into this, believe me. When you're strapped to the roof of a car, you care a lot about who's driving). Everyone else was crammed into the car's backseat.

Suddenly, Simon had to swerve out of the way of a maniac taxi driver, who was tearing by at incredible speeds. The motion almost dislodged me. "Simon!" I yelled. "Be more bloody careful! I almost died!"

"Sorry about that," he said.

I grunted to show that the apology was accepted. Waving the Sensor above my head for better reception, I checked for demon activity. Still no sign of anything. Several blocks of traffic later, I was still in the same position, albeit colder and less happy. This was saying something—I hadn't been very happy with this arrangement in the first place. All of a sudden, the Sensor flashed 'positive' for demon activity, and whatever it was must have an incredibly strong presence. Then, just as fast as it appeared, the signal died again.

"Stop the car!" I shouted. "I've got something!"

Simon stopped so fast that I skidded over the roof of the car and onto the windshield. The only thing that saved me was the rope. "Augghhh," I groaned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Clary's POV)**

One second I was staring out over the New York City hustle and bustle, and the next second Jace comes flying over the windshield, his back directly in front of my face. "Ouch," I winced in sympathy.

"Don't feel too sorry for him," said Isabelle. "I broke my best pair of heels breakdancing."

Everyone climbed cautiously out of the car, and then Simon and I helped Jace peel himself from the windshield.

"I got… a… very strong demon presence… from that building… over there…" huffed Jace, rubbing his back.

"Ok, everybody!" called Alec. "You heard him! We're going to investigate that building over there!"

Magnus raised his hand. "Can I stay in that café over there, instead?"

"Sorry, Magnus, but you have to come with us," said Alec.

"Why?" whined Magnus. "All I do is research for you guys, and perhaps patch you up afterwards. Look, I brought the Greater Demon book to read while you decapitate some things."

Isabelle cut in. "Magnus, you need to come with us. For one thing, you might be able to identify the Greater Demon, and it's also great to have a powerful warlock on our side if we do run into a Greater Demon."

"Greater Demons were explicitly not in my contract, honey," said Magnus. But then Alec pouted and gave him puppy dog eyes, which I didn't know Alec could make, and Magnus finally consented. "Well, I suppose I could tag along. But don't expect me to go running in there all gung-ho."

We ran up to an apartment building, and Magnus quickly disposed of the lock. Racing up the flights of steps, I asked Jace, "How do you know which apartment it is?"

"There should still be some residual demon traces," he said, "even if this Greater Demon can mask his/her presence."

He gazed at the Sensor while we ran. "Here!" he said, stopping on floor five. "I'm getting a very faint reading coming from this floor."

We all opened the door for this floor, and Jace paced up and down the hallway, waving the sensor about as though it was a magic wand. He stopped in front of apartment 5F, and said, "There is a slight trace of demon activity coming from in here."

Jace, Isabelle, and Alec stood in front of the door, blades poised for battle. Their quarrel was momentarily forgotten. Business was business, especially when your life was on the line. Meanwhile, Simon and I stood behind them awkwardly, and Magnus stood in the very back, stifling a yawn.

Jace nodded to Alec, and Alec kicked the door open. Jace, Alec, and Isabelle rushed in, and confronted…

…a group of middle-aged women in a circle and holding books. For a wild second, I thought that they were doing some sort of cult magic/voodoo thing, but then I realized that they were completely normal. And then I realized that I knew somebody there.

"Mom?" I said in disbelief.

"Clary?" she said. "Look, I just want to explain to you…"

I looked away, not wanting to deal with it, and realized that I knew _three_ people there that I knew. Mom, Grandmother Lightwood, and Aunt Majorie. What were the chances of that? Looking closer, I also saw what book they were reading.

"WHOA!" I said. "That is _not_ natural."

"I know, right? What are the chances of your mom and my Aunt Majorie being in the same book club?" said Simon.

"No, Simon. Have you _seen_ what book they're reading?" I hissed.

He looked, and immediately said, "Oh, my eyes! That is **so** weird. And they have like discussions on the book, and stuff? I should file for sexual harassment or something."

All the women were clutching a book entitled, 'Why Do Men Have Nipples?'

This effectively cleared my mind of anything mother-related.

"Grandmother Lightwood at twelve o'clock!" hissed Isabelle to Jace and Alec. "We need to get out of here!"

But it was too late. Grandmother Lightwood was marching over to our group, proclaiming in a loud voice, "My lovely grandchildren!"

Alec and Jace shrunk back, and Jace whispered something about strawberries to Alec. "I found this rather intriguing mundane tradition where you sit and a circle and read books! I found it so odd, I just had to try it. Your mother signed me up for this book club a few days ago."

While they were being ambushed by Grandmother Lightwood, my mom came over to visit us. "Clary, I'm so sorry…"

I stared resolutely at my feet. "Not now, mom. I don't want to talk about it."

"But…" she started.

"Not right now," I repeated.

She seemed to accept this, and, giving my arm a little squeeze, she said, "Come visit me and Luke, ok? We can work this out."

Still refusing to look up, I mumbled an 'ok.' Jocelyn walked back to her seat, looking sad.

When it was safe to stare around, I did so, taking in the room again. For some odd reason, there was a mannequin in one corner. "Why is there a mannequin over there?" I asked Simon. "That seems a little odd, doesn't it?"

A woman to my right answered me. "Oh, we borrowed that from the department store down the street. It's for demonstrative purposes."

"Demonstrative… purposes?" I repeated. I was officially weirded out.

"Ok, but we really must be going," Jace was saying in a loud voice. He practically shoved Alec and Isabelle out into the hallway, and then motioned for us to follow. "It was so nice to see you again!" Then he slammed the door to the apartment.

We all took a minute to collect ourselves.

"Well, no Greater Demon," said Alec.

"I don't know, though," said Jace darkly. "There sure was a lot of demonic activity going on in there. People just shouldn't sit around and discuss books like that. Did you see what they were reading?"

"Hey," said Magnus, "I read that book!"

"You _did_?" asked Alec, horror-struck.

"Well, if you must know, yes. I was curious, and they were having a buy-one-get-one-free sale at Borders."

There was an awkward silence.

"Ok, then…" said Jace. "Let's get back to the car, shall we?"

We trudged back to the car, feeling weirded-out and frustrated.

When we reached the car, Isabelle said vindictively, "Back on the roof, Golden Boy."

Jace gave her the finger, but climbed back onto the top of the car anyways. The next five minutes were spent trying to fit everyone into Alec's and Jace's tiny rental car, and when we finally did, we had a hard time getting back onto the street. Traffic had been reduced to a crawl.

Once we were zooming along the streets once again, however, Jace called through the sun roof to Magnus, "So, why _do_ men have—"

"Jace! No! Just—no, okay?"


	16. Crypticus

**(Clary's POV)**

We were still driving around in the vague area of the grocery store, but we were having no luck. Suddenly, Magnus (who was reading the book of Greater Demons in the back seat) said, "I might have found something! Here, listen to this: 'The demon Crypticus is a shape-shifting demon who uses the souls of others. The demon's original form is something such as an unfinished sketch, a dummy or model, or a piece of unmolded clay—something that doesn't have definite form. Once the demon has consumed a soul, it can change into that being as though pulling on a pair of clothes, and the more souls it has absorbed, the more forms it can change into. The soul effectively masks the demon's presence—'"

"Wait," I said, interrupting Magnus. "Would a mannequin count as a dummy or model?" I had a very bad feeling about this.

He considered. "Yes, I suppose it might."

I faced Simon and said, "The mannequin used for—"

"Demonstrative purposes," he finished for me. "Guys, we need to get back there!"

Simon somehow managed to pull off a U-turn at high speeds, almost hitting several pedestrians and an Italian sports car. There was the sound of someone bumping around on the roof, followed by a string of swear words that would have caused Grandmother Lightwood to have a heart attack (if she could hear). "Simon!" Jace roared furiously from the roof. "That was not appreciated!"

"Sorry, sorry," said Simon, but he was more concentrating on weaving in and out of traffic. He missed a fruit stand by a millimeter, and the angry owner threw something at the car. It hit Jace, and then fell through the open sun roof. "For God's sake! A pineapple? Really?" Jace yelled at the fruit stand owner, and then followed it up with a rude had gesture, which fortunately he couldn't see.

Even though we were zooming along to confront a Greater Demon, and we were probably being chased by half the police in New York by now, I couldn't help but mutter to Simon, "Romeo, Romeo, where art thou pineapple?"

He snorted loudly, and then continued to concentrate on driving. After several hectic minutes, we arrived outside the apartment building again. "Everyone out!" said Alec.

We all sprinted to the apartment building, and we were soon outside of apartment 5F. Once again, Alec kicked open the door, only this time, there was definitely a Greater Demon. The women were slumped over in their chairs, and appeared to be sleeping heavily. The books had fallen out of their slack grips. In the center of the circle, a tall woman stood, observing the people around her. In one hand she held a needle like one would hold a cigarette. When she turned around, I finally got a good look at her: a European woman, with fine features and expensive clothing, with a pair of designer sunglasses perched on her nose. She smiled when she saw us, and when she did I noticed that her teeth were unnaturally sharp.

"Hello! My darling little Nephilim. I wondered how long it would take you…." She sighed, and gestured around the room elegantly. "It was awfully boring, waiting for you."

Instead of replying, Alec let loose an arrow from his bow. Moments before the arrow would have struck home, it swerved away from Crypticus and flew towards the owner instead. The arrow dissolved into blue flames before it could get close to Alec.

Crypticus feigned surprise and hurt. "One of my own relatives, turning against me. How dreadful."

"Only a very, very distant relative; besides, I was never a big fan of family reunions," said Magnus calmly.

"I suppose I should get to the point, shouldn't I?" said Crypticus, examining a nail. "I have a message for you." She threw the needle at Jace, who caught it easily.

Isabelle had uncoiled her whip from around her wrist, and she whipped the weapon across the floor, hoping to catch the Greater Demon by the ankles. Once again, the weapon bounced off of an invisible force field. Crypticus raised an eyebrow at her, as though amused.

"What are you? Are you Crypticus?" I blurted.

She stared at me, and then suddenly shifted form. A cute seven-year-old girl with pig tails looked back at me. "I am many things," she said. Now she was an old man. A lion. A teenage boy. An opera singer. "I find one name to be so… containing. Restrictive." Now she was a beautiful bird of the forest. A young girl in a wedding dress. "I can be whatever I want to be," she said. Without warning, the original European woman was back.

"Now, I really must be going." She made as if to turn on her heel, but then paused. She looked straight at me. "Oh, and PS: Mummy says hi." And then she was gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After checking to make sure that all of the women were ok, I stopped in front of my mom. Her head was resting on her shoulder, and she appeared to be in a deep sleep. I placed a hand on her forehead. She was cool to the touch, but that was the only sign that something was wrong with her. Fighting back tears, I walked over to Magnus. "My mom… she'll be ok, right?"

"I don't know, Clary. Chances are that she had her soul stolen. However, we don't aren't even 100% positive that the Greater Demon is Crypticus." He tried to be convincing, but I could tell that even he didn't believe what he was saying. "Look… even if her soul is gone, there might be a way to get it back. Don't give up hope, ok?"

"Right," I said, but my voice cracked in the middle, and I couldn't stop the tears from spilling over. I wiped them away furiously. I needed to catch that demon, not cry.

Simon walked over and gave me a hug. "I know that Jocelyn will be ok," he said. "I can feel it."

I looked up at him, and then I remembered something. "Oh, Simon! Aunt Majorie! I'm so sorry. I forgot."

He shrugged. "We weren't extremely close, but I feel responsible, somehow. Now I really have to catch that Crypticus thing. Or, assist in catching it. You know what I mean?"

I nodded. "I know exactly how you feel," I said. "Let's kick demon ass, Simon." I held out my fist, and said, "For mom."

He bumped my fist and said, "For Aunt Majorie." It was pretty intense.

While Simon and I were having a comfort-moment, Alec, Isabelle, and Jace were standing around Grandmother Lightwood, looking fairly awkward. Magnus was standing near them, holding the needle against the light and muttering the word 'fascinating'.

Magnus said, "I think that this weird, silvery fluid inside the needle is… a soul."

Everyone looked up at that. "You're kidding," said Alec.

"I'm not," said Magnus. "It's only a hunch, but it's a pretty strong hunch."

"Well, how do we find out whether it's a soul or not?"

"Like this," said Magnus, and smashed the needle. The fluid leaked out and then re-formed, floating like wisp of fog. It floated around for a few seconds, like it was confused, and drifted towards one of the bodies. It entered the person's chest, and the person bolted upright like it had been shocked.

"What in carnation happened?" said Grandmother Lightwood.

There was a shocked silence as everyone took in the fact that Grandmother Lightwood's soul had just been in a medical needle, and had now returned to her.

Isabelle cleared her throat. "Um… you were in a Greater Demon attack."

"A what?" barked Grandmother Lightwood.

Isabelle cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, "YOU WERE IN A GREATER DEMON ATTACK!"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," said Grandmother Lightwood. "I wouldn't let a Greater Demon sneak up on me. When I was only two years older than you, I took out a Greater Demon with a crowbar, a piece of cheese, and a copy of National Geographic."

"They had National Geographic back then?" asked Jace, curious.

"Jace! Stay on task!"

"Ok. Sorry, Grandmother Lightwood, but we have a bit of an emergency on our hands. We have to find this Greater Demon before it attacks again."

"Knitting is a horrible hobby, I quite agree. Bad for the eyes, and totally pointless," concurred Grandmother Lightwood.

Isabelle shook her head in despair, and said, "Anyone have any clues as to where the Greater Demon might be now?"

Silence reigned.

Then, something tugged at my memory. "Wait, one of the women said that they borrowed the mannequin from a department store down the street. Remember, Simon?"

"Yeah, I remember," said Simon.

"Excellent," said Jace. "We have a place to start! Everyone, let's go, go, go!"

Alec left a note for Grandmother Lightwood, explaining how to catch a taxi home, what a taxi was, and some money to pay for the ride. Then he dialed the Institute to tell Mayrse that he had some more bodies to put in the sick bay at the Institute. After that, he led everyone out of the room and down to the car. Jace lagged behind to talk to me.

"Are you ok?" he asked with concern.

"I've been better," I said. "Jace, the last thing I told my mother was to go away. That was her last memory of me." I could feel the tears coming up all over again.

"That _is_ her last memory of you," he corrected. "Your mom is still alive, and Magnus is coming up with a plan to get those souls back."

"You're right," I said, and forced a smile onto my face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We arrived at the only department store within three blocks of the apartment, and hurried out. This department store was huge. It took up almost a whole block, and across from it was a little green park.

We ascended the steps to the store, and tugged on the handles only to find them locked. "Now what?" I asked.

"Hey, look at this," said Isabelle, and pulled a flyer from beside the glass door. "It says: 'Annual Band Bash. A chance for bands from all over the state to get together and share a love for music. There will also be a competition, in which each band will perform one song one of their choice, and the most popular band will be awarded a record deal with 'International Music Studios'. The event will be held from the 14th-17th, with the final competition on the last day.' The event is going to be over there," said Isabelle, pointing towards the open green space across from the department store. "The flyer also says that a surprise popular band will come on the last day."

"Oh, I've heard about this," said Simon. "Yeah, the department store hosts it every year. They say they do it out of love of music, but everyone knows that they do it because they get tons of money from it."

Jace said, "It's smart for the demon drug company to infiltrate here. What are bands about? Sex, drugs, and more drugs. That would be tons of victims already. Mix in the crowds, and you've got yourself a jackpot."

"Not all bands are about sex and drugs," pointed out Simon.

Jace scrutinized him carefully. "Wait a second… are you in a band?" he asked.

"So what if I am?" said Simon defensively.

"Oh, nothing," said Jace chuckling.

"So are we going to come back here during the event?" asked Alec.

"Actually, I was thinking of a more productive plan, and one that involves more undercover work. It'll get us on the inside," said Jace.

"_Please_ tell me that you are not thinking what I think you're thinking," said Isabelle.

"Yep," said Jace with a grin. "We're going to form a band."

Isabelle sighed. "This is not going to end well."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: First off, THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS. They're very encouraging, and they help me update a lot faster. Any feedback on this last chapter is great. Love, HoneydukesFan._


	17. Starting a Band

**(Clary's POV)**

The following morning, everyone was gathered around the kitchen to discuss our next course of action. Last night I cried myself to sleep, and when I did sleep, I dreamed about my mother. She walked into my room at the Institute, saying, "I have something to tell you, Clary… I have something to tell you…" over and over again. And when I finally asked, "What do you have to tell me?" she disappeared. I was anxious to catch this Crypticus demon, partly to save my mom's soul, partly for the revenge, and partly for the distraction.

"So, Magnus," started Jace. "What do we know about Crypticus?"

Magnus said, "Well, I'm pretty sure that it's Crypticus by now. Crypticus feeds off of souls, and the more souls she eats, the stronger she becomes and the more shapes she can shift into. I'm guessing that Crypticus is one of the Ancient demons, so by now she's consumed millions of souls, if not more."

"So, she's very powerful," stated Alec, checking for confirmation.

"_Very_ powerful," said Magnus. "However, I have some good news. The souls are still intact. When Crypticus absorbs the souls, they are added to her essence, providing an energy source, which means that the souls aren't destroyed."

"Is there a way to get them back?" I piped up hopefully.

"Ah, well, that's the part I'm still working on," admitted Magnus. "I've been poring over ancient texts that describe a demon similar to this one, and I think I might be on to something. However, chances of getting them back are low at best."

"Wait, how does the angel blood tie into this?" asked Isabelle.

"Excellent question, Isabelle," said Magnus. "Like I said, I've never actually tested angel blood before, so I don't know what effects it'll cause. I do, however, have a theory: Since we know that Crypticus is after souls, and she's using angel blood to get them, somehow, then my guess is that the angel blood makes it easier to extract the souls. Taking a whole, undamaged soul out of a person is a tricky process, so if Crypticus figured out an easy way to extract them, she'd be all over it. I think that the mixture of opium and dried angel blood loosens the bonds around a soul. All Crypticus would have to do is inject the mixture into someone and pluck the soul out of the unresisting body. Simple, but ingenious."

Jace said, "I think that we should find their new nest, which we are almost positive is at or near the band event, and find out where they are getting the angel blood. Then we can bust the company and arrest the people supplying the blood."

"You make it sound so simple," muttered Simon.

"Be careful, though, especially with the people supplying the blood. If they are capable of catching an angel… Well, Crypticus might be a formidable enemy, but these people are close competition," warned Magnus.

"One thing that's been bothering me," said Alec, frowning, "is what Crypticus said in that apartment. She said, "I have a message for you," and then she gave us Grandmother Lightwood's soul. What did she mean?"

"Yeah," Isabelle agreed. "Why would she help us by showing us what she's after?"

Magnus said, "My guess it that she's just toying with you. She thinks it's funny to watch you scurry around chasing after her."

"Unless…" said Alec slowly, "Unless Grandmother Lightwood was really supposed to give us a message."

Jace said sarcastically, "Like what? We're supposed to take down Crypticus with a crowbar, a piece of cheese, and a copy of National Geographic?"

"I'm just saying!" said Alec. "It was odd to give us that needle, that's all."

Jace said, "The important issue here is forming a band. That way we can always get backstage, and if we're lucky, the demons might even try and sell us some drugs by accident."

Isabelle snorted. "Look, Jace—I'm sorry, but there is no way that this band idea is going to work. We are not musically talented, we don't have a song written, and the event starts in _three days_."

"Actually," said Simon in a scared sort of voice, like he was afraid of what would happen if he said it, "since I'm part of a band, I know people who can play instruments. We even have a song written."

"You have a song written?" I asked in surprise. Wow. I thought they just sat around eating junk food and talking about their imaginary girlfriends.

Simon said in an offended voice, "Yes, we do, actually."

"Wait a second," said Jace, bursting into the conversation. "Isabelle. Just what do you mean by 'none of us our musically talented'? I play the piano, I'll have you know. Besides, I'm sure we can teach Alec some basic drums. And we can teach you the… um, triangle."

Isabelle cocked an eyebrow. "Really? The triangle?"

"Well, I'm sure that they also have a square, if you prefer."

"I'm not playing anything," said Isabelle. "_Least_ of all the triangle."

Jace crossed his arms defiantly. "I'm sure that if you're not going to join our band, then Magnus will."

"Whoa, whoa. There is _no way_ that I'm joining your band. It's bad enough that you guys drag me everywhere and force me to do all your research." He hastily got up from his chair. "I just remembered that I have an appointment." Crossing the kitchen, Magnus left the room before anyone could force him into anything. There was several minutes of silence, and then Magnus's head reappeared in the doorway. "Although, if you do decide on preforming a song, I think Madonna should be involved somehow."

Alec sighed wearily. "Magnus, don't you have an appointment to go to?"

"Oh, right. I'll just be going then, shall I?"

I glanced over at Simon, who was dialing someone on his phone. "Who are you calling?" I asked.

"Who do you think?" responded Simon, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"Oh, no. Not—not—"

"Yes. Unfortunately, we have to call Eric."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Breathe deeply… Feel the vibes…"

Everyone looked at each other, but followed the instructions.

"You are looking for inspiration… You must let your inner musician take control of you…"

Isabelle interrupted by saying, "Excuse me, but what if we don't have an 'inner musician'?"

Eric opened one eye and considered her with a hazy expression. "First of all, you must call me the Band Guru, young grasshopper. Second of all, everyone has an inner musician. Some are buried more deeply than others, but they are always there."

Isabelle returned to her pose: criss-cross-applesauce, with her eyes closed, the same as everyone else in the room.

There was several minutes of silence as everyone tried desperately to find their inner musician and feel the vibes. I mean, who even said that anymore? 'Feel the vibes'? It was like being stuck in the 70s.

Then the peaceful atmosphere was disturbed by Jace bursting out, "I really don't see how this is going to help us. And what's up with that mustache, anyways?"

Perched on Eric's nose was a horrible, furry, caterpillar-like thing pretending to be a mustache. "It helps set the mood, ya know?"

"If the mood is a pedophile convention," muttered Alec. "That fake mustache is a crime against humanity."

Eric shot him a glare, but then answered Jace's first question. "You have to feel the music before you can play the music, dude. You must have a _bond_ with the music. And you forgot to call me Band Guru."

Again, there was several more minutes of silence before, once again, it was interrupted by Jace. "Do you think that we could skip to the actual playing of the music?"

Without opening his eyes, Eric raised a shaking finger towards Jace. "This one is a non-believer. Put him in the Closet of Shame."

"Gladly, Band Guru," said Isabelle, and escorted Jace to the Closet of Shame, which was just down the corridor.

In the end, we spent forty-five minutes 'feeling the musical vibes'. Then Eric abruptly stood up and announced that we were moving on to the 'musical creation' part of the course.

"Now," said Eric, pacing before us in an important manner, "the first thing we must come up with is the name of your little band. Luckily, I've already come up with some possibilities: The Morbid Monkey; Loins Defy; Hunchbacked Humus; Gratified Coffee; and The Austere Dragon."

Everyone seemed to be at a loss for words, the names of the bands were so bad. Then Simon piped up, "What about The Awesome Carpet?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I think that The Fashionistas has a certain ring to it, don't you think?" chimed in Isabelle.

This was not good. Simon's band had taken two years to come up with a band name, and it looked like our band was headed down the same road. I needed a fast, easy solution to the problem. But what?

And then it hit me. "Ok, guys, I've got a plan," I announced. "I'll go to Wikipedia and click the 'random article' button. Whichever article comes up first is our band name. Sounds good?"

There was a general round of agreements and nodding of heads, partly because I didn't think that Isabelle and Alec actually knew what 'Wikipedia' was. Borrowing Simon's laptop, I went to Wikipedia and clicked the 'random article' button.

"Ok, peoples," I said triumphantly. "Our band name is The Greek-English Lexicon."

"Hmm. I suppose that has a certain ring to it," said Isabelle thoughtfully. "Kind of sophisticated."

"The Lexicon? Really?" said Alec, and I suspected he was the only person in the whole room who knew what that word meant. "A little boring, but I can't think of something better."

And so it was decided. Once we had gotten our band name, we moved on to the instruments. Alec was put at the drums and was told to hit it with a continuous beat, Isabelle, it turned out, could sing, Eric played the base, Simon played the guitar, and I was awarded the triangle. That was when I noticed the empty seat at the piano. "Hey, where's Jace?"

I caught Isabelle and Alec exchanging furtive looks. "Oh, he won't be joining us for a while," said Isabelle airily.

I asked suspiciously, "Did you take your revenge on Jace?"

"Possibly," said Alec, closely examining one of the drummer's sticks.

I sighed, and went to look for Jace—we couldn't start practicing without him. Following the sounds of banging coming from the Closet of Shame, I arrived at the closet and said, "Jace? Jace, are you in there?"

"Yes, I'm bloody in here! Isabelle locked me in here with a tampered radio and a porcupine! Her and Alec must have modified the Closet of Shame beforehand."

"What's the radio playing?" I asked curiously.

"It's playing a continuous track of the song '3' by Brittany Spears. It's having a really weird effect on the porcupine—it's going berserk. It's already gotten quills all over me, including my-"

"Ok, ok, I'll try and help you," I said hastily. I considered my options. Isabelle and Alec wouldn't help me; they were the ones that had locked Jace in here in the first place. I couldn't take any more of Eric, and Simon probably wouldn't be able to help. That meant that _I _had to figure out a way of getting Jace out of that closet, and fast. No matter what they had done, nobody deserved a fate of Brittany Spears and a berserk porcupine. But how was I going to get him out?

_I suppose I should start with trying to knock the door down_, I thought.

I looked about for a potential tool for knocking the door down, when I saw it. Perfect.

"Jace! Get away from the door!" I shouted, raising the object above my head.

_A/N: I know that this chapter was kind of relaxed and that nothing much happened, but it was a necessary chapter. Tell me what you think the Clary should be holding—I don't have a definite breaking-down-the-door tool yet. What do you use to break down a door, anyways? Also, sorry if you like Brittany Spears and I offended you. Love, HoneydukesFan._


	18. Of Blowtorches and Porcupines

**(Clary's POV)**

My first attempt at breaking down the door was extremely unsuccessful—apparently, you couldn't break down a door with a hat stand. It also probably has something to do with the fact that I had almost no upper body strength; it was actually kind of shameful how weak my arms were. After the disastrous attempt at knocking down the door with a hat stand, my options became more desperate. What on earth could I use? It wasn't helping that Jace was yelling with more and more frequency, and his swear words and oaths became more and more explicit.

"Jace!" I called. "I'll be right back!"

"Wait! Where are you going? You can't leave me here!"

I shouted over my shoulder, "I'm sorry! I'm going to get something to knock down the door!"

My new plan was to get something from the kitchen. There were plenty of potential weapons/battering rams there. I rushed into the kitchen and whirled about, searching for something to use. That was when I noticed that Alec's bag was sitting innocently on top of the kitchen table, and something was poking out from the top. Curious, I pulled out the object to discover a… Crowbar. Further investigation yielded a piece of cheese (Cheddar) and an outdated copy of National Geographic. Wow. I had no idea that Alec was so paranoid. I mean, did he really think that that would help us?

Then I shook my head and forced myself to concentrate. Jace was being mauled by spiky rodent while simultaneously being forced to listen to Brittany Spears sing about a threesome, and every second I wasted was another second that Jace had to endure.

Hefting the crowbar over one shoulder, I was about to leave the kitchen when I spotted the blowtorch that I had used a couple days previously. Well, why not? I grabbed the blowtorch as well—just in case.

Returning to the Closet of Shame as fast as possible with my new treasures, I yelled, "Ok, Jace! I'm back! Get away from the door."

There was some scuffling from inside, followed by yet more swearing.

I attacked the door ferociously with the crowbar, leaving several deep welts in the wood. Man, this actually felt really good. I should recommend this as therapy. However, as good as it felt, I really wasn't making that much of a difference. It was like… like trying to cut down a tree with a butter knife. It just didn't work.

Sighing, I examined my last resort: the blowtorch.

"Um, Jace?" I asked nervously. "Would you happen to have a fire extinguisher in the Institute?"

A pause. "Why would you ask that?"

"You know how heavy they are," I lied through my teeth. "I could use it to knock down the door."

Pause.

Jace seemed to be considering this, suspicious of my story. Then: "Well… There is one in the foyer. Right as you come in, on your left."

"Thanks!" I said, and scrambled off towards the foyer. There was no way that I was using the blowtorch without a fire extinguisher nearby. I did have _some_ grasp on reason.

After collecting said fire extinguisher, I held the blowtorch gingerly. "Ok, Jace. You're gonna want to stand really, really far away from the door for this one."

Then I turned the blowtorch on, burning a hole around the door knob/lock. After several minutes of slowly ringing the knob and lock, the door knob and surrounding wooden area fell out. "Yes!" I cried in success, turning the blowtorch off and carefully pulling the door open.

Jace stumbled out, nearly tripping over the fire extinguisher. "Thank the Angel!" Jace said. "I'm free!" Then he looked behind him. "Why is the doorknob flaming?"

"Uh, well, I kinds had to use a blowtorch to set you free," I admitted.

"You used a… _blowtorch_?" asked Jace incredulously.

I responded defensively, "It was my only option! Besides, would you rather be locked in the closet with that porcupine or have me use a blowtorch?"

"Point taken."

I sprayed the doorknob area briefly to get rid of the flames (it was only flaming a little, little bit) and stepped inside the closet to rescue that poor porcupine. The radio was blaring annoyingly, and I had to push aside a broom and several heavy winter coats before I found the porcupine. It was huddled in one corner and was shivering uncomfortably.

"Awww, you poor thing," I crooned scooping it up. "Did you have to stay inside here with meany-weany Jace?"

"'Meany-weany Jace'," he repeated. "Look at me!" he said, gesturing towards the long scratches he had up his arms and legs. "Meany-weany porcupine is more like it!"

The porcupine was just over a foot long, and was shivering as I held it. "Jace, look at it. Does it look mean to you?"

"You weren't the one locked in a closet with it!" he retorted.

While he was speaking, I noticed that the porcupine had a collar. Apparently, the porcupine's name was Mr. Cuddles.

"Where did Isabelle and Alec get Mr. Cuddles?" I asked Jace curiously.

"Who?" said Jace blankly.

"Mr. Cuddles is the porcupine. It's on his collar."

"Well, someone has a sense of humor," muttered Jace. "Actually, I have no idea where Isabelle and Alec got that porcupine. I do, though, have _quite a lot _to say to Alec and Isabelle at the moment."

He marched off in search of Isabelle and Alec, and I followed, vaguely interested as to what carnage would ensue.

Jace stormed into the library where we had been practicing, and said "Alec! Isabelle! You are going to PAY for locking me in the Closet of Shame! The faerie liquor wasn't nearly as bad as this was. This was just horrendous!"

"'Horrendous'," mimicked Isabelle. "That's a big word, Jace. Make sure you don't hurt yourself."

"You are going to seriously regret locking me in there," Jace growled, taking a step closer to Isabelle.

"Oh, yeah? Because the faerie liquor was a lot worse than the whole Closet of Shame thing. In fact, I have another incident planned for you just to make it even."

"Really? I might just happen to have an accident or two planned for you, too."

Isabelle opened her mouth to retort, but was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing. "I'll get that," she practically spat.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Isabelle's POV)**

I opened the Institute door to see a man with a tan suit on, the kind of outfit often worn by safari-expedition leaders. It greatly offended my fashion sense. The words 'Central Park Zoo' were sewed onto one breast pocket.

"Hello…?" I said uncertainly.

"Hi, I'm with the Central Park Zoo," said the man cheerfully. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but have you seen this porcupine?" He held up a picture of the porcupine Alec had convinced Magnus to snap into existence.

I said breezily, "Oh, no. I'm sorry, but I haven't seen this animal before."

"Oh. Well, we tracked him here through the GPS tracker unit in his collar. We're going to need to come inside and look for him."

Oh, dear. Not good, not good at all. "Um, I'm sorry, but I can't let you inside."

"I'm afraid that the porcupine we're looking for is a thin-spined porcupine, or Chaetomys subspinosus. They're extremely endangered, and there are only a few left in the world. We're borrowing this one from the Brazilian government for a special exhibit. Surely you understand how important it is for us to get inside?"

Oh, no, no, no, no. If they found that porcupine, we'd probably be held for questioning under suspicion of stealing him or something, in hopes of selling him on the black market. Worse, if mom found out that we had let mundanes roam around the Institute… (Although, it would be pretty funny to see their expressions when they found the weapons room, or even if they met the pissed Jace in the kitchen. Maybe a combination of the two wouldn't be so bad, either.)

"I'm really sorry, but I just can't let you inside," I said, offering him a winning smile.

"I see," he said. "Well, seeing how important this animal is, and the diplomatic issues that hang in the balance, we do have a SWAT team on standby. Of course, it will take a couple minutes to get a search warrant, but since we have probable cause…"

My mouth was in serious danger of catching flies. He_ wasn't_ serious. Was he? It was just a porcupine, for Pete's sake.

"Are you _sure_ you haven't seen this porcupine?" he asked again.

I stared hard at him. "Define 'porcupine'."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Clary's POV)**

We had just settled Jace down again when Isabelle arrived in the kitchen, looking faintly worried. "Um… Well… It turns out that porcupine was kind of important," she said.

"How important?" asked Alec.

"There's a SWAT team outside."

"_What?_" said Jace, shocked. "You have got to be kidding me."

"I'm not," she said gravely.

"Ok… So is this porcupine some kind of terrorist rodent?" asked Jace, eyeing the porcupine with newfound respect/fear.

"No, he's an endangered porcupine from Brazil. Apparently he's here as a special exhibit from the Brazilian government, and there are only a few of them left."

"And where did you find this poor guy?" I asked. "I take it you don't usually find animals like this wandering around NYC."

Alec shrugged. "We asked Magnus to summon one. He snapped, and summoned the closest porcupine in NYC. I suppose it just happened to be this one."

There was a pause in activity as everyone realized that their number one priority, instead of killing each other over pranks, was getting that endangered porcupine out of the Institute before the SWAT team came crashing down on them. **(A/N You have no idea how weird it was to write that last sentence…)**

"Ok, first comes first…. How are we going to get this porcupine out of here?"

Silence.

"AHA!" shouted Isabelle, tapping here head knowingly. "I have a plan!"

"I hate it when she says that," Jace grumbled. "I always feel like my life is in immediate danger."

Isabelle said, "No, no, wait. Listen. I'll sneak off to Magnus's, bring him back here, and get him to snap the porcupine back to wherever it came from! In the meantime, you guys just hide the porcupine for a while and act natural."

"You know," said Alec, his voice tinged with surprise, "that's actually a pretty good plan, except for one tiny, tiny point."

"And what's that?" Isabelle challenged.

"Why can't _I _go to Magnus's?"

"Alec, no offense, but you're a terrible liar. And besides, the plan I have in mind won't work with you. _Trust_ me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Isabelle's POV)**

Strutting out of the Institute with an air of ease and confidence, I tried to leave the front gate, only to be apprehended by a police man. "Sorry," he said apologetically, "but you're not allowed to leave this point until we locate that animal."

I leaned forward like I was telling him something confidential, and whispered, "I really, really need to go to the store."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I can't allow anyone to leave the perimeter."

"I need," –and at this point I fake-swallowed—"some tampons."

The man was slightly paler now, and I could tell he was cracking. However, he resolutely said, "No one can leave the perimeter until we have confirmed the location of the animal."

I put on my best scared-and-anxious face. "But I'm going to bleed through soon, and I have such a heavy flow—"

"Alright! Alright. But be back soon," he said, looking sufficiently awkward and like he was wishing I would just disappear on the spot.

Men, I thought as I walked away. They could never stomach that kind of stuff.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**(Clary's POV)**

Jace, Mr. Cuddles, and I were crammed into the empty attic above the weapons room. The attic was usually used to store extra weapons and was virtually unnoticeable from the ground below. This made it a perfect place to wait while Isabelle went to get Magnus—except for the fact that it was cramped, hot, pitch-black, and now spiky.

Jace shifted uncomfortably beside me. "I can't believe I'm spending _more_ time in confined space with this infernal creature," he groaned.

"Well, look on the bright side," I said. "At least you don't have that tampered radio this time."

"True," admitted Jace. "I have _you_." He moved his arms so he was grasping something. "Hey Clary, your skin feels really weird today."

Pause.

"Jace. That's the porcupine."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Sorry it took me longer than usual to update…. Thanks RANDOM COOKIE NINJA for giving me the idea to include the crowbar, and also thanks a ton to anyone who gave me suggestions on what to use to knock down the door. Not much plot development in this chapter, again, but I mostly just did this chapter for fun. THANKS to everyone who has reviewed so far! I love reviews and they help me update faster! Love, HoneydukesFan._


End file.
